As you go to sleep at night, slowly, slowly, slowly you become naked of using structure. You strip yourself bare of your thoughts and your feelings and you lay down all your structured identity. Because as you head towards going to ‘sleep’, and that word is only something that the self tells, the self informs you that you are going to sleep. The truth is you are not going to sleep, you are going into an unformulated level of your Being that does not move by an identification with any form of structure.
Therefore, your self cannot and does not go with you in deep dreamless sleep. You go towards deep dreamless sleep like a caterpillar would go towards the chrysalis; it has no idea what it is turning into now.
In deep dreamless sleep, or in you heading towards sleep, be clear how you love it. There is more in the Deep that you love than in your structured sense of self. You believe you love it but you do not. You love to hold onto it and identify with it and make believe it is you but you know it is not. You could in fact and you will at some point, give it all up.
As you are heading towards sleep, you are heading towards the Unknown and yet you know you love it. So you strip yourself naked of all forms and structures of identification and you fall in because you know on some very real deep level, you cannot enter the Deep as a sense of self identity. But this level is untouched; it just waits for you to come back and move in it. It sets off all the wires, all the patterns wire up again and you are back with this belief that you got something to hold together, you got something that needs to be repaid, you got something that needs to be taken away, you got lots of things to do, lots of things to let go of and lots of things to continue. And it is all a lie! It is not the Truth. Your self cannot enter where you go. You strip it off, you let go and you fall into the Deep.
The reason why you do not know What You Are or where you are in deep dreamless sleep is because you are not using the faculties of the body-mind relationship and the manifest movement of thoughts and feelings. That realm and deeper realms do not relate to this level whatsoever.
Any deeper level of You that you ever enter in deep dreamless sleep or even if awake, if that was possible, none of those deeper levels can relate to your self-identity. None. Not one single one. In fact, any level deeper than this structured level would dissolve a structure of yours.
That is what you fight against because you want to keep those structures, you want payment from those structures, you want something back from those structures and you want and you want and you want and you want. That is how it all is. It is a fear of completely being no-one, no-body and no-thing.
As you strip off as you head towards sleep, this realm does not enter where you are going. You love where you have gone to but not enough to bring it ‘here’ because it is the end of controlling who you believe you are, what you believe you need here and what you believe you need from everybody. You make sure you do not really bring it back ‘here’ because it would take from you all your beliefs and turn you into the Deep.
Excerpt from NZ sessions 170808