It is quite something for a human being to let go of the idea ‘I exist’. In this realm, on this level of reality that has conditional formed experience, there is the belief that What I Am exists as a 'someone' but the truth is, what exists exists in What I Am.
It is actually the reverse. We are not taught this as yet, the turning around of 'I am someone who exists' into the Pure Knowing: “What exists exists in What I Am” and “What I Am has no beginning or end”. This can be realised direct.
When Awareness, the one who is listening to these words, when you move in a sense of your self and your person, you are reading thousands of years of personalised experience, as if you exist separate from the entire existence. You do not; it is misguided information. All that you experience is within You,
What You are is the ‘I Am’.
When you awaken, the endeavour is to dissolve the identification with experience because the moment you wake up in the morning, you move in a sense of self. You may not even be aware of this.
When you fall to sleep, in the first instant, you tip into the Unknown, which is what you are. If you recognise this, that moment that you tip out of the body-mind into what you are as Pure Awareness, there is a moment of fullness unrelated to the experience of body-mind. This is deep dreamless sleep. You fall into What You Are. You return.
To you as Awareness identified with the body-mind you simply go nowhere in deep dreamless sleep. You simply returned to the ground of what you are from which all appearances arise between all things, all words, all sounds, all experience. That is where you'll find You. All this is arising in You as Awareness. Deep dreamless sleep is: “I am Awake-ness itself. I have never gone to sleep, ever.”
What happens when we truly awaken and are given to this awakening, all our experiences tear at the point of separation. As we awaken, we experience the tear of separation mentally, emotionally, psychologically. How we have made ourselves as a ‘someone’ begins to undo. Rumi, the poet, described this as a ‘crack in the pot’.
Whilst we are awakening, our endeavour is not to identify with the experience of that tearing, to forget our sense of self and be authentic and original in the Knowing that we are the Heart.
In this life and this world, it is all about ‘someone doing something’. That someone is actually an illusion, put together thoughts, experiences, sensations made into a shape we call ‘me’. Even our name represents that distortion. Our real name is ‘Love’, that that points beyond description.
When we truly awaken and truly realise what we are, we have to let go of the identification of experience as being what we are. Otherwise, we continue to seek positive and negative experiences. When you seek a positive, you create a negative. Look in your own experience; you are always unconsciously seeking likes and dislikes. It is literally entertainment. It is a story and you listen to the story that you are narrating. Realise when in your experience you are still telling a story and let go of that story.
Belong to what you are knowing deeper than the story of a ‘me’.
This will bring an ache in your heart, a longing to belong deeper. That longing is not the longing of a ‘someone’ to return, it is the longing of the Self to realise the Self. It is a wonderful longing, and it does not separate you from What You Are. It simply calls you not to separate experience as a ‘someone’. It is the end of your story.
The ego experiences this as a problem. You experience this as difficulty but this kind of difficulty grows you to know what you are. Whatever you might experience as difficult in life it is a door into the deep of what you are. You can only go by way of letting go of the belief you are a ‘someone’ and by being one with your heart.
More and more you will discover that this humanness does not belong to itself and as you return to the Deep, the human level becomes truly human moved by What You Are in realising You.
From a Satsang with B in Rimini, Italy, April 2017
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