You are looking for the origin point, the original point. The origin of YOU where all this originates from. Mind tells you it is distant but it is intimate. It is close by. In life it is close by. because being close to the origin enables the origin to express as the cosmos. It is close by it is intimate. If Awareness were to go into the origin , there would be no cosmos. The experience of manifestation would evaporate. So close-by is intimacy. Beautiful intimacy. In such closeness intimacy is everywhere.
It's not anywhere else other than everywhere here. In this kind of closeness Awareness can completely disappear and then reappear. This is the moment we all know as sleep. We disappear to reappear. We disappear to reappear. You disappear to reappear as Awareness. And as Awareness as you disappear you go right into the source of what you are but then beyond. You gather all the lights, all the spectrums of your lights and you bring them altogether to a singularity. They were already a singularity but you bring them altogether. Then you're able to pass through this singularity - utterly changed. You can even stay within the singularity ..you. can come out into the spectrums of it all, which is what is here when we see each other in this spectrum of humanness. It is a spectrum - a wonderful spectrum.
And within this spectrum of light as light moving in forms of closeness there is nothing that is not close-by. That is the same as saying the Beloved is close-by and you can as Awareness disappear into the Beloved as the Beloved and reappear as closeness. This is the activity of the cosmos, this is and the activity of the earth. This is true activity of Reality.
Often we walk through the garden of the earth and all that we experience is ourselves. We don't experience its full spectrum of possibility , its spectrum of flowering . We don't see that even the stones are of consciousness. So we walk though this garden not truly realising that everything is a living Beingness, transmitting Being. And although the minerals, the plants the animals nature may not have direct reflective consciousness, stones reflect their consciousness through the seeing and knowing of a stone. The Maori are very much into the consciousness of the land - they will speak of the energies of the stone , the energies of water, the energies of wood , the energy of the sky ..it's quite an ancient native ..I am hesitant to use the word tradition ..for it is not a tradition, it is the Truth.
I don't know many stones in terms of their name but I know 'stone' intimately. It is very close and shares its spectrum and I share the many spectrums I AM with the stone and the stone becomes so much more, not because I am doing anything other than being close with the stone in Being. In this garden we're in here, everything is speaking and actually everything is listening.
If you took the time or the presence just to touch a flower, just to touch a leaf, even to put your hands in the mud, it will tell you many many many things about today ..or even deeper through your ability to merge. Because humanness as it were emerged with the stones, emerged with nature and therefore can merge into the Origin. Our mind has been trained to make everything so patterned and familiar and if we look at our lives, the paths that we walk are so familiar When we begin to see as Awareness what Awareness is deeply, vastly, it all moves as light, moved as manifestation. Forms of light. Endless spectrums, endless realms of Beingness. Everything being lived by Being. Nothing separate. Nothing Two. All One as the many.
So there is this profound intimacy that is Here and not distant. So close, which the filter of personality until unfiltered, the filter of small self, until returned home through loving, caring of Being. Those filters of patterning of familiarity that has Awareness believe its own patterned way. That it lives at number 10, that it has parents and obligations, so many things. But what if all of that is wonderfully close by, what if your mother is close-by whether she has form not, what if your father is close-by , whether he has form or not. What if it is all close-by for there is only One who pervades it all, the light of the Origin, who is listening to these words now.
There is this depth of movement, inner worlds moving and it is all made of the same substance: Pure Being. These inner worlds burst forth this manifestation..and it is all made of the same substance of Being. The stones are a substance of Being ..that's how they communicate and the tress and the leaves, the animals ..all of it communicates the substance of Being. Then this Awareness having human form, maybe can communicate the entirety of it all through this capacity of reflective consciousness. This close-by feeling of intimacy of Pure Being, the substance of it all.
But to be that close-by, the filters on the level of the sense of self and person ...because if what we are as the origin point is to come all the way out into form awake as Life, fully conscious with all the spectrums in its heart, all the spectrums in its hands in its feet, in its bones, in its sinews..This is the possibility of human life..
Then the natural reflections that are supplied by the filters in the world, the sense of self, the person, the natural filters reflect that this form is not close-by. This form needs to be brought close-by, not to be examined but to unleash the substance of it all. Not that it is outside, but it's within.So there is this flow, close-by intimacy. One who lives this is intimately close-by.One who lives this brings all to be close by. Intimate..with all things. So let's say, there is a blockage in the stream. If you're not intimate with water, if you're not intimate with earth, if you're not intimate with mud, with clay, with stone and rock can you be intimate with the blocks within your own psyche, within your own heart? One who lives the universe, for that one has realised the universe is all made of the substance of Pure Being. One who intimately knows the stone in the river can also know the stone in your heart and brings you to warmly cherish that stone. See it is in the river, not the river of your mind or the river of your old ways of feeling but it is in the river of the spectrum of life we call humanness.
To become intimate with and to bring about such closeness of intimacy even if it hurts...on any level. To see even within the pain there is that that is close-by, because nothing can have any form or substance without the substance of Consciousness or light itself. This is not a knowledge up in the head, this is a living light of Realness.
One is so intimate, close-by at origin and has the practice (practice just as pointing a way), of being able to disappear and reappear. Dissolve these filters through recognition..That's the life..reflects to be met, intimately close-by. This is the way. No identity of self or person is needed. It may come up but truly see and be the kind of Awareness , the KIND of Awareness even though it hurts to stay with close-by intimacy even with the stone in the heart. Then although there may be pain in this, pain doesn't become the enemy. Pain is also made close-by. Then one begins to know the spectrums , the higher, the deeper spectrums that you touch upon higher deeper levels of Being that as a being aware - there is no one that does not have access to. But you do need to go. You do need to come. Come ! Come! You do need to realise you are called to be the Origin. You do need to know that you are the closeness of it all. You do need to now that this Origin is an expression in endless ways. Its singularity now appears as so so much more than just a tiny infinite dot of it all.
Then there are moments when Awareness starts to join the dots...and the dots are seen everywhere. Awareness begins to join the dots of the substance of Beingness and an intimacy of profound gorgeous Beingness is seen and known.
In meeting this moment and meeting others as Being, the dots are joining..It is rather like looking at the stars at night. When you join the dots aware as a Being, it is the end of your familiarisation with what is . It is the beginning of the end of this , which is he same as saying: the mind that keeps 30:46 the same familiar dots in the sense of self and person is being replaced. Rather than those dots belonging to a sense of self and person , a me-The Origin centre , which is just a pattern , can be said to be an illusion..rather than those dots belonging to a me , the heart of Being opens to the unfamiliar closeness, which everyone is looking for ..it is right in front of your nose. So in the deeper higher spectrums that you touch upon that Beingness is saying: "Give me your mind, give me your mind and I will change it all." Then you will know your own Pure Beingness, the deeper spectrum of you. But you gotta give it all over. Now. For the higher, the very substance of it all claims the mind. If you hear a silent voice of truth of Being you give it all away. Give this moment to That in any circumstance. And because you are Awareness and the Beingness that is the ground of it all, the tiny little spectrum you have been holding onto will vanish and within no speed at all, because there is no speed of this, you will be gone as a separate sense of self. You will be that that is awake in it all already. You will just be taken to the origin. Not as a self, not as a person but as a Beingness aware, which you ARE behind this facade of being separate.The facade changes and the very face you see in the mirror is no longer yours. The image is no longer yours but the pulsating thriving aliveness beaming through the face is You, through the hands through the body is YOU, spectrums of light having all its form. It never was anybody else's - alive, radiating seeing knowing , gifting, moving alive!.You will see your true face.
There is a shared Beingness then, we share the Beingness with a flower. It shares its scent, which reminds you of the Essence of all and you share your reflective capacity and in your eyes the flower blooms, for you, in you, as you.
All this being very alien to the old levels of familiarity, that whoever this is listening, dissolves through right life, right attention, a deep calling and the growing ability to stay clearly One as a Being. Never make an other. Then there is this capacity as it were to tap in to more and more of the origin of YOU. Awareness begins to realise it IS This and now has the capacity to be the flow of it all as it comes all the way out , right up though the sense of self and person, right into the earth..and even be in the world but not be of it.
Just keep pulling up all the familiarities. So in attentive heart felt known Awareness, totally opened ..the word vulnerable might come into this but you will soon forget that. Openness is more like it ..Never not closed, even amongst the closures that are necessary to realise even more openness , even more flowering , even more budding . Even more tight tight budding. There is pain! Yes, tight, tight budding! It is the pre-flower. Then every petal of the flower is in your own fingertips and the body is the tree of life and the dead leaves are allowed to fall to the ground and allowed to disintegrate and be new energy. And flowers are not mourned when they die for flowering does not die. A flower is a flower of another place . It is a hall of mirrors reflecting the one light that is . A flower is one flower flowering on multidimensional levels of Being. here is forms. It seems to die but that's because a greater flower is to flower. The flower of flowers.
We are origin flowers. We are all the Singular as the many. We all flower the way we flower. To really be and live this, then your Beingness will have your mind , your heart and it will have everything you ever thought was yours as a self. Wonderfully so.
Only you as the Origin never ever changes. It is already full, already complete, already beautifully silent, already raging.
NZ RETREAT 2020 D3 s1