A Satsang Excerpt from January 2017 - She Community, New Zealand
You know the 'end of your time'. It is easy to recognise the end of your time. The end of your time is the most difficult period you have had in your entire life. That is the end of your time.
If you are having a difficulty, real difficulty, it is the end of your time dancing as the person you think you know and are. The dance is over. Get off the dance floor. It’s over.
My calling is to help you not be a puppet of your mind because you really believe so much what your mind puts forward. This is the end of your time. If you don’t let a new time begin, you will suffer, and also those that associate with you will be drawn to that suffering because clearly it is the end of their time, otherwise why would they be drawn to you?
But they don’t want to get off the dance floor of that old time either. This is very simple. For most people, it is the end of their time but if they don’t get off the dance floor, it will get unbearable.
I want to call this 'End Of Your Time' - these extremes of personal difficulty, mentally, emotionally, sexually, totally - True Awakening. Profound possibility of awakening. All one has to do is wonderfully accept the difficulty. Wonderfully means: “This is really difficult for me. My self is really difficult and I am having tendencies of difficulty with all other selves, but it really is the difficulty with my self because clearly it is the end of my time with this self. Yet I am very much invested in it and dancing with it and it is still very much my master, even though I know it is the end of my time. I don’t like the feeling of such difficulty.”
You are looking for answers in your self, the very difficulty you are facing, you are asking it for answers. It is not wisdom. It is not Truth. It is not Love. It is not only unwise but it is a lack of knowing who You are, a lack of Meaning in your life and a lack of listening to the faint silent calling of a higher realm of Being to dance in, which requires ALL of You. It doesn’t require your old sense of self, the stories, all the old ideas. None of it is required.
The end of your time is the most difficult period. Jesus used to call it, “Time to go through the eye of a needle.” Have you ever tried to thread a needle when you’re not seeing clearly? You must see clearly. You cannot see clearly from the sense of self that is at the end of its times. You can only see clearly through the difficulty that is pointing you to a deeper more silent You. Only then will you be able to thread the new thread of Life through a very much finer eye. You will see clearly.
If you keep dancing on the same dance floor, the difficulty that is a wonderful mysterious calling card to a place of transcendence that has the power to heal the old dance, cannot be touched, cannot be known. You will struggle with the difficulty because you are looking for the information of transcendence through the self that you are finding so difficult, but you really believe it’s You. It is not.
You have to understand, it is the end of time for that sense of self. The difficulty is an arrow deeply inward, deeply upward. It is not pointing to your usual sense of self and it is certainly not pointing to this world. It is pointing to a deeper possibility that does not use its will to overthrow your old dance. It is a calling card. It is an invitation. You have to call it. You have to ring the number. You have to knock the door. You have to walk in.
It is a difficult time because you cannot use your sense of self to dial the number. You cannot use your self, your old dance in any way whatsoever to know how to move. It is the abandonment of who you ever thought you were or anything on this planet tells you you are. The difficulty is not others. It is you not being true to the higher calling. Your wanting to get rid of the difficulty and go the way you have mainly been going, is avoiding difficulty to have personal comfort, mostly mentally and sexually. Personally limited. That’s what’s happening.
The difficulty is a calling to transcend all known things and ways. The difficulty is you returning to Being and taking hold of a different level of Beingness, a different level of power that has no idea of your old dance, your old ways. It is purely a new way. It is the only way it can move. It is not identified with space or time. It is not identified with who you ever thought you were. It is purely Pure, more wholly Real. The difficulty is it doesn’t fit into the limitation that you have imposed on your sense of self, person and Life.
The difficulty is a calling to reach into the finer levels of you and function from what you do know is True but you must go all the way into it. Any reaching of the known causes you pain, suffering, confusion and difficulty. I know you’re knowing this by me speaking this but dare you live this? Through what appears to be difficult, you’ll retune what you are into an entirely new place. The difficulty then is the higher calling. You cannot mobilize what you’re knowing is True when the time of that level of self is up.
If you are having difficulty of any sort whatsoever, you know your time is up. So why use that level of self? But you will need to walk amongst, what appears to your old level of self, pain. Walk amongst it with the calling card in both hands functional at the level of your heart, the level of mind, most definitely the level of Life. In such profound difficulty, to look on difficulty as you once knew it, creates more pain, more separation, more doubt simply because you’re still moving in a time sphere that’s done and over.
Time's up! Now come to what could be called a new time but you cannot use one iota of old time. In fact, even the new time doesn’t belong to time. It belongs to the new level of Being and invites you to be it and discover what it is. As you discover the new level of Being, it shows you very clearly your self, not as a judgement, but from your multi-dimensional capacity to self-reflect. You can know any time and space that you’re partaking in but you can’t remember who this One who knows this is as an objective experience. This One is experience. Knowing is experience.
It’s very simple: I KNOW I KNOW AND I KNOW THE TIME IS UP ON THAT LEVEL OF SELF!
Difficulty is a marker of a higher intelligence of Love calling. To be up to the mark is quite simple but seemingly difficult, because to be up to the mark means to not need to work anything out on the level of self, time and space. It is a return to innocence with a deep trust , like when you go to sleep and all is well. You will have to have that kind of trust when the body drops away. That kind of trust is in truth where you come from and what you really belong to.
If you are having lots of difficulty, it is a marker that the time is up on that level of self. Turn that difficulty around. Stop reaching for your known self. That level of difficulty points you towards your heart and deeper. There the answer truly is. It just doesn’t have the kind of form of a self or a person or even this planet as yet, only through You can it be embodied.
When you have a difficulty, say: “I am the light of Love that is knowing a profound level of difficulty appearing in my self. I am its answer I am its knowledge I am its way I am its healer, I am it. In this something is raised up, suddenly without you doing anything a recognition is flowering.
More stormy levels may come, levels that you have not grown up in, all saying “Me, me, me, me, me! Do the same for me!” You will have to do the same for all of them! It is the union of all your levels of growing up, moved by the light you are knowing in your heart.
What life will do is help you get still. It does this through personal pain. Have enough personal pain and it fires and fires and suddenly you just stop. Suddenly all your energy is focusing on a point within. I am actually speaking of a mystical experience although it appears to be pain. In that moment, in that furnace you can put all the levels that have not grown up in you into that fire of transmutation. You must put them in there with your own hands. The fire is the fire of New Love. It just appears to have pain but is raising up the vibration of that level of self, person and embodiment to a new cosmic level of participation.
You have to graduate in this, because if you don’t pass through it you will know more suffering and you will be incapable of moving that level of light of consciousness. Then you will integrate more shields to shield you from a profounder energy of difficulty which is growing you. When you don’t need to shield because you are listening to your heart as openness itself, then you begin to see those levels that need to grow up on any level of person or self. You really need to listen deeply here because as they come and you start to look after them as a sense of self they swamp your intelligence because you valued them more than ‘Being Here’.
You have not stabilised your Awareness in the Knowing levels of your heart. You are still dancing the old. You have to stabilise your Knowing. You do this through wonderful, beautifulhonesty. An honesty that has real alchemical agency. You have to be soft, tender and quiet. When you are tempted to 'speak self', gently pull it back and don’t speak it.
It will seem that things get more difficult but you are actually in the measure and movement of self mastery. The less you 'speak self' the energy of that level of self is returned to the furnace of your loving heart and mastered. As a self still identified with those levels you complain, you blame, you judge and you may even run. The running could be mentally, emotionally or all of those together. When you run, all you are doing is delaying the inevitable, but more than that, you are manifesting more difficulty.
Come home and be still and quieted in all things and watch the natural joy of your being. Things don’t give you joy. You being You is your joy.