A day by day collection of pointers and truth gems from the fourteen-day retreat journey in India 2018


Day 1 - Opening Session

"The Unseen is our being. Our being is our true form pouring out of Awareness That that I Am." 

"Discover that the unseen is tangibly known within your direct experience of Awareness knowing it knows."

"Eventually you realise: 'Wow! I am my own undoing and my own revelation of That that I deeply Am.' "


Life Manifests Where I Move My Power To

What 'I Am' is Freedom itself. Life simply terribly, awfully, wonderfully, magically manifests where I move power or attention to. Withdraw you attention, power from the body mind and give it to your heart and you will be your own undoing. Isn't that wonderful!?


Love Awakening To The Depth Of What You Are

When you relax in this openness then the contracted forms of your relatedness break open and you begin to be in the experience of the illusions you put together to relate to in the belief you needed things or you needed to be 'someone' to realise what You Are. See that the contraction is in everything that we made to experience ourself as a self. 

You have to really love awakening to the depth of what you are because this level will fall apart to come back together differently from the realisation : it's all made of You. You only ever kissed yourself, you only ever saw yourself , you only ever tasted yourself, you only ever argued with yourself, you only ever loved yourself. It's all made of You, You who is aware - knowingly aware. 

Our fear is that our Knowing knows the illusion 'I am someone' will fall apart, but in the falling apart I realise the depth of What I Am. And the depth of What I Am realised or awakened to, becomes a functional movement all the way up to the surface and new forms form directly as What I Am, as aware Being formed. The unseen brings that into pure forms that will pass away and yet the light of which that form is made of will never pass away. 


You Are The Beingness That Sees And Knows


If you don't know yourself you will believe you are the self. But you are The Self. If you don't know yourself, all the little habits, all the polarities, how What You Are put together a body-mind that you have identified with as you. If you don't know yourself through just simply being aware knowingly of your self, you will think you are this self. If you just sit openly, watchful, patiently, you will see that you are not your self. You are the Beingness that sees and knows. Awareness knowing the self, its development. What it requires is You in it totally. 

Let the subconscious come up into the light of Awareness, which is You. Let it be felt . Let it go wherever it goes and wonderfully leave it alone but move in the deeper knowledge not trying to escape any sense of feeling mental, emotional, psychological. 

Meet it as the light of Awareness. No need for it to change or go or do anything. It will resolve in you being aware Knowing.


Immediate Verticality

Be deeply real about what the meaning of awakening is, which is basically negating any need to reference the past, any need to reference the future, which puts you in immediate verticality. It's immediate. Such a life opens your eyes. Such a life opens your heart. Such a life opens you to You, prior to the belief you are 'someone'. 

Day 2

"It doesn't really matter what noise is moving in your mind. It's all made of Pure Awareness. "

"Your life is a formation of what you give your power to; imagination, thought and feeling or the depth of the Real You."

"You are the seamless movement beyond all spaces and times. That's the movement of Love."

"When you arrive Here which is Now, everything is possible for You are the impossible made possible in every moment."

"Awakening puts your existence as a someone under tremendous pressure because the power You Are is immeasurable." 

"Responding to the infinite invitation of being what you deeply are with every breath is simple: be honest and one with Knowing in everything."

"Amongst all the change You are that that never changes, awakening to the depth of what truly is, as You. Life will always bring you the possibility of transforming the body-mind in alignment with what you are awakening to."  

"To be clear, as Awareness, to be what You are, to live that clarity always costs you horizontal reality. You can no longer go to sleep."

"You are the entirety of existence Now." 



 Mobile In The Deep

In giving your will to what is deeply calling you to You, the return of your power through your heart, you actually find that you are mobile, moving in the Deep. It's a movement, sometimes it's swift, other times gentled, sometimes a flow. Deeper and deeper Nothingness opening and you know you are moving into deeper You. You remember You, undivided, not held back. In that moment you are able to perceive form formlessly. 


All Is Really Vertical  

What I am pointing to is: all is really vertical. The vertical is an outpouring of the unending Deep, which is the one who is listening to these words now. And that then lands in expression within the cosmos, for you are a cosmic being all the way unto what appears to be a horizontal plane of existence but really the horizontal is vertical flower and just like a flower it doesn't close when it closes, it just comes home.  


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Let The Horizontal Belong To The Vertical

This the Horizontal, that's the ‘me’, it's horizontal. Simply make it belong to the Vertical. Much to think about on the horizontal: past and future. Pay attention only to the vertical. 

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In Awareness that is the One who is listening to these words now.  You discover that What You Are is the ground of all that is. It is like a fountain of What You Are, realising  and expressing this 'I' that I Am. That is actually what is right here and now. 



Beingness That Has Real Form

When you who is aware of Knowing realises that you know already as Knowing, what use is the mind in telling you anything? The mind is of no use to you. You then don't need to know a flower, know another, know something as if it is something that is an extension of you. Suddenly it is all What You Are as Awareness. 

The belief that there is cause and effect is the belief that you are a ‘someone’ doing something. Then you have polarities, good and bad, right and wrong, happy and sad.  But What You Are is joy itself that needs no thing. Just like when you were a child, not the name that someone gave you but the movement of Beingness. Beingness that had real form . That form was not created out of a cause and effect it was You as Being coming to the surface of what you are as Reality. 


Your Subconscious Will Come Up


As you awaken to the depth of Knowing, you also land in the forms and appearances of your familiar likes and dislikes. They literally come up. Your subconscious comes up. You'll experience that most definitely in the sensation of your body-mind in the manner in which you have used thought and feeling to move by a thought or a feeling. All that will start to collapse for you if you are genuinely awakening to what you first deeply are. 

So then in Knowing, in what is vertical, simply bring what you thought was past and future into this moment of verticality. That means you deeply, deeply know more than how you constructed a sense of self. You deeply, deeply know that you're more than what your thoughts and feelings tell you. Eventually you will realise that you are more than the universe that spilled out of your bright Awareness. This is the way you are going.

To stay vertical, when you keep wanting to 'lay down on the job', to bring what you thought had a past and a future and only respond to what your heart of Knowing is, takes a great love of what you deeply are. A love of what is beyond your believed experience that you're a body-mind and you must follow and conform to thoughts and feelings. Our thoughts and feelings are expressed as the world - not the earth, that's an expression of the heart - but the patterned levels that Awareness has covered the heart of Being with.

Realise that in awakening deeply, all your distractions will rise to the surface of your nervous system, of your body, your mind, your feeling sensation and even in all your relationships. You'll be really knowing yourself. You have to know yourself because then you know that that self is not you.

This is just the beginning of what you are as Awareness awakening to Pure Knowing, reforming the forms of this humanness. Not through doing but through going deeper and moving as a being. There will be much for you to contend with from verticality. It is not that you can just leave this horizontal plane alone. It is that 'all this' is allowed to be in your Awareness, direct, no matter how it feels.

You will get taste of this but most of us move away from the opportunity this presents, which is the realisation of what I truly am, the master of the mind, through belonging to what I deeply know in Meaning within me and the transformation of this reality which I am now filling out - as Awareness, not as a somebody.


Dip A Little Deeper


Through your small self you will never going to be able to explain, in an embodied way of depth, the Reality You Are, the light of what You Are. And yet you have form and this form is in a level of your bright reality and You who is The One is awakening on this level to inform this level of 'Who I Am'. This 'I' that is listening to these words now. Not to inform the people! No, this whole level, to fill this level up with your bright knowing: 'I Am That.' 

If you go a little deeper you come into a place where it is not that your explaining, but you are living the realisation. We must dip a little bit deeper than our usual manner of conveying what we are. If we look at our lives, our life is a conveyance of what we believe in, which is what we are. Your life is a formation of what you give your power to; imagination, thought and feeling or the depth of the Real You. 

Your sense of mind and emotion, all these vehicles are that in which Awareness direct conveys What It is, without any movement of a sense of self or being anyone.  That mind, emotion or feeling sense 'I Am’ conveyed directly without any thought or need to construct feeling in any particular manner. Those are all constructs. This construct that I am 'someone' - it’s a construct. You are Pure You already but then you see that in every body. You see that you can merge! 

Of course this is an intimacy beyond the current evolution of what we call mankind. But are you the ‘kind’ that can bring What You Are?  That alone evolves humanity for you are not a person, you are the whole of humanity. That is what you are on this level and yet you are beyond. This is a formed movement of You being You. You can go to many other deeper levels and fill out the level, but You are the seamless movement beyond all spaces and times. That's the movement of Love.

What happens 'here' is that the body-mind begins to empty out of this constrictive idea that you are finite. The only thing that is finite is this moment of forming that passes away and is reformed immediately, at a tremendous speed, registered in the nervous system, in the body in the cells. You are the entirety of existence Now. 

 In our conversations in everyday life then, if we learn not to bypass constriction, contraction and learn to allow it totally and do our best to remain open, we discover the contraction is not 'what we are' but a level of the body-mind held in the belief ‘I am someone’. 

In any moment that we converse, that contraction points us to what we're holding on and it has such power because that power holds the table to look like a table, flowers the flower to look like a flower, flowers the universe to look like a universe, holds the body together in a shape so that the shapeless can talk to each other in shapes of Love. You are holding your body together in a particular modality of a person. When you awaken you discover that contraction and set it free of your holding. We can come from a deeper place in how we commune and communicate but we must let go of this familiarity that I am someone and you're someone else. 

Q: Is that the essence of the infinite?

B:  You are the Infinite. If you looked in the mirror, the seeing is you, not the image. The seeing and knowing is What You Are, not the forming an image. That is all made of What You Are and as you move in this level of reality, which is You, then this level will only form what you are in it . If you're not the freedom of your true nature, then you realise the forces that you are holding together, how you separate experiences into this, that and the other.

Eventually you realise what that is, that separation is a 'doing' of you. When you go deeper , the separation will be known to you. That is knowing yourself. Knowing yourself is knowing how You-Awareness form this conditional level you into forms. When you arrive here, which is Now , everything is possible for you are the impossible made possible in every moment. And only You can raise the horizontal to the vertical by being deeply what you deeply are. By being true to what you know in your heart. 


The Pressure Of The Enormity You Are

In awakening You are far too much for this little body you call ‘me’. You will be bursting at the seams, mentally emotionally, socially - in every way. So what you do as Awareness is keep memory, which is power attentive to past belief. Thrown forward, you call that future and you control your energy and your Awareness to manifest familiarity. Therefore you will not ‘feel’ in your sense of self under pressure, what is deeper than how you put that sense of self together

When you were a small baby you never had this, you were completely spilling out the radiance of no thing, no body, no name, no bother and no care. You were care-free but the moment you started to believe a name, inscripted to a particular family group and society you began to be under pressure, because the enormity of What You Are with no beginning and end. You are contracting into a name, identified with particular people, who are also imagined, illusory for there is only The Self.


So then you as Awareness constantly stay true to the false, stay true to the imagination that you existed in the past and that you belong to a particular culture, a particular conformity. You didn't see it as conformity but you conformed to have a comfortable life for a self, an easy life but an illusory life, for You are uncontainable. You stay true to the bonds, which are the chains of familiarity. Your body becomes familiar, everything becomes familiar whilst you actually know that there is no fullness in this, no reality in this. It's a clockwork - round and round and round.

The moment you have a little bit of awakening, just a tiny bit is enough, the whole thing blows apart. The moment you begin to have awakening to what is deeper than your sense of self, this puts everything under pressure that you  have put together as a sense of self. You, your love, your friends, your family, your society and this world is now about to break for it is all IN YOU.

Awakening puts your existence as a someone under tremendous pressure because the power you are is immeasurable. You are infinite. You will go through what one man who realised what he is called ‘the eye of the needle’. Through your own ‘I’ -  you will go through it. Everything that you believed was ‘you’ cannot get through. This is what you experience as you awaken to what you could call ‘the other side’, but it's not the other side, it's just the deep of that that I Am. You realise you are both sides which have no sides.

You see what I Am is dismantling you in your own interior - because you and I are the same One. This life undoes you to reveal You to You. Responding to the infinite invitation of being what you deeply are with every breath is simple: be honest and one with Knowing in everything.


What A Wonderful Life

It is not You that changes, only the forms spilling out of your changelessness change in an attempt to give form to your infinite nature.  This is why everything moves, because you have no beginning and end. What a wonderful, wonderful life discovering how deep I Am. 

Day 3

"What we are as Awareness-Knowing is seamless."

"You don't have to 'do' anything with your self images. There is the simplicity of seeing: "It is not I." 

"Only You can raise the horizontal to the vertical by being deeply what you deeply are, by being true to what you know in your heart. " 


Belonging to Being


Self-mastery only comes through belonging to Being and listening to Being. Being is definitely omnipresent, it fills all things that you could possibly ever taste, know or be 'subject to'. But no subject is subject to anything for there is only one subject and it is 'I'; infinite aware Knowing and within what I am there are infinite realms of Being possible to manifest in this level of Reality.  


There Is No Such Reality

No one ever lived in the past because there is no such reality. No one will ever live in the future because there is no such reality.
In the full recognition of this, Freedom, which is inherent in Being is lived,
regardless of any images of yesterday passing through mind. 


A Universal Body Of Pure Presencing

When you get clear that what You Are is the deep, Awareness knowing it knows, that straightens everything. Its movement is a movement of Oneness in that Awareness true to Knowing, Pure Being or Love moves up to the apparent body and this body becomes a universal body of pure presencing. And in such a vibratory field of such a living presence cells within cells within cells begin to match that presence.

You may be walking down the street and you see someone turn, they see you and they think they know you but they know Thee, what you are coming into as the One who is in them, where there is no 'them and you' but only 'I'. It's a conveyance 24/7, never does it stop this conveying of what truly is. It's a shared experience.

This changes the very cells in your body, which actually changes the cells in the universe. And the cells in the universe appear as stars, planets, as many different divine forms of reality appearing. You might be clear that there is a star appearing in the sky, which is the intellect, the divine intellect and it is actually 'You' appearing through the black, the forming of the Knowing of the movement of the light.

When One realises, more stars are discovered in this apparent formed universe. Stars are realised beings. You discover that inner movement isn't a movement of something physical , mental psychological, it's a movement of Being and then the phenomenon  of the body is able to translate the movement of Being into physical moving expression: This! 


Remain Open

To be truly sincerely deepening awake, it doesn't matter what kind of a 'What is' appears. Remain open. Remain open to convey, to be . Don't cover up. Remain open, be the love. Don't revert back to thinking, to mind, to limitation, to holding on. Stay genuine and clear in what you are awakening in , no matter what appears on the surface.


On Therapy

Q: Could you comment on the meaningful-ness or lesser meaningful-ness of therapy.

B: It has a great deal of meaning as long as one does not have a self-image. If one does not portray a self-image then the flow of what is imageless, the conveyance of what is deeper is possible. When anyone of us conveys together, meets together and image is dropped, we are a movement and flow of Being and anything is possible. Miracles are possible. The rebuilding of the body-mind in a new code of Being is possible. But no one ever does that! Not a self. So is therapy meaningful ? 

Yes, as a stage of development and certainly the support of the body-mind in terms of  supporting its openness on the surface.It looks like we're giving therapy or supporting 'somebody' but actually it is much bigger. There is the support of the body of humanity, which is the possibility of infinite Awareness opening the gates of Eternity. You will walk into the gates of Eternity when the body drops away! So drop the body mind idea away - Here and Now. 

So therapy coming from the imageless has a place until it is displaced by what is deeper and what is higher. It is really also dependent on the evolution of the beingness of one who appears to be somebody.  Some need more support of what is imageless in the body-mind than apparent others. Without making an image, some are able to have flow through them the self transformation of the whole of humanity and others can just about accept or deal with a limited self transformation. It appears that everyone is in the same place but according to your state of evolved Consciousness your body will match that more or less.  The body that you appear to come into is on loan. You come into the right body for the body of Awareness to move through and be What It Is , which brings about self-transformation without cause or effect. The cause is an effect of so much more than what medicine thinks it is at this stage of evolution. Most medicine is bound by materialistic ideas of what a body is and who looks and speaks through this apparent body, but that's changing.Especially in those that are awakening, you will be in the more immediate experience of what is changing to become deeper than anything that can change. 

Illness is not necessarily a disfunction, it can be what one has taken on in the psyche, but make no image of this , otherwise you will believe you are 'someone' doing this. Stay with the Beingness and be with Being when you relate . That is more than healing. That is moving in a deeper body of Being, having access to the Beyond moved into embodiment. It comes through. The body-mind idea has you imagining you are a someone and limited but You are not. You have to go beyond that and there are moments when you must utterly dismiss the idea that you are an image. Sometimes when you are dismissing the idea that you are an image you come upon a wall or an old code within the psyche and within your psyche. You are not given this by another, you took it on. Not you as a someone , but you as Awareness-Knowing. You come into his level of You to be All that you are within this level and to fill it out with your radiance or your knowing. This will change how you perceive What Is. It will change you, you will relate totally differently.

Day 4

"Realising is all there is.  Awakening is all there is. 
Whether you know it or not, what you're awakening to is what you actually are

and it moves and it lives and it jumps from one cell to another. 
It's impersonal, it's a dance, it's what you love." 

"We are immense in the arms of the One, who is 'I' who is listening to these words now." 

"Circumstances, when one is awakening is a field of potential that looks like a horizon,
it looks like it's horizontal but really the horizontal is vertical."  

"The horizontal really belongs to the vertical."

"Let the new way move you, let the new way move in this apparent old way. Inform the old way of the new way,  not with words but with Presence, in an entirely different embodiment."


A New Power Begins To Move


When you awaken and you are still using thought or feeling to deliver the message of Knowing, you still think and feel you’re somebody, you have to use a lot of energy to stay there and contract to keep thought and feeling matching your familiarity.

It will all just become too much, you are going to burst and who knows how life is going to help you burst. It might be a breakup from your lover, an accident or whatever or you simply drop this idea that you need to feel good to be what you first Are.

You can just drop the lot and be Being knowing, moving. You will be knowing the peace that you are without contriving the need to get peace, the love that you are without the needing to feel love.

You will be freedom itself - no matter what, because that is the truth. New power in an entirely different manner begins to move through your blood. The power of love, the power of patience, the power of presence, the power to give, give, give and give. You are an endless ocean. The walls will break and you drop into what you are. Unbelievable - now you believe it.


Your Body is A Living Code

Your body, what appears to be this body is as much the OM as that symbol over there. Basically this body is a living code of the direct realisation of I Am. 

I am not speaking about the idea of this physicality, that's a mental thing - necessary as it is on this level but it is a mental thing: a picture of the body has formed but prior to the brain there is a body of Awareness that you move by, even in this body. There is no death for such a one who realises this. 

You can travel the universe in your real body, your body of Consciousness.


No End To Realising

There is no end to the realising , whilst having an apparent physical form, that realising is a living Oneness all the way up into this human experience of Oneness.

So wherever this One moves, throughout the realms of its own reality, filling up that level with what you are, that realm transfigures, reforms and another life of Consciousness begins.

You have bridged the surface with the Deep, you who is knowingly aware. Not with a thought but in the direct belief  ‘I am’ and the opened experience of that within your own experience of Being.

On this level of reality you will see that for you everything in action or movement is different, the body moves differently because as you move from the deeper awakening you move encoding this level of reality differently. So everything here is upgraded, simply because what you realised as Awareness.  Your old life couldn't take such power. 


Living Beings

Q:  I had the most beautiful meeting yesterday. I was very touched by the energy down by the river and then the river was flowing through me and I came home. It feels like everything has changed and shifted in me since then..

B: The river is as much a being as you and I. The river is a being, the hills are a being, the pigeons are a being - everything if of Being. This river is a being. If you sat, you could have a conversation in the deep like you could with anybody here, but you would need to resolve the distraction of believing you are a someone to speak to such a being.  Realise that the river realised you. Two rivers becoming one flow. You are a river. That's what you recognised, that's what cleansed you, that's what opened you to what you called home. The recognition of two beings merging - the same river. It just looks like that one is out there, flowing down there but you are as much a river as that river. You met in the river of Being. Now that kind of meeting... keep meeting that in ALL that you meet. Here are rivers ( points to the people) beautiful streaming rivers - not to be judged by the colour of their skin, age, gender, culture - all flowing rivers. Rivers realising rivers, realising rivers. It is the return to the ocean of Awareness. Just a pointer on the way to nowhere. You'll give up the idea that you're going somewhere, you're going nowhere and nowhere is what you are. 

Day 5

"Your real body is a body of knowing Awareness." 

"Objects do not determine or tell you what you are. They are instruments of the light of perception of what you are: undivided attention, undivided whole Reality filling out this reality with You as Awareness." 

"The moment you see yourself navigating through weather close up the compass, turn off the GPS, be clear and true to Knowing." 

"The body is not an illusion, the world is the illusion. The earth is the wonder of the deep formed." 

"When I say 'I' please keep your 'I' in your own heart."


Your deeper yearning is for all beings to be free but will you allow pain in another not free without telling them anything? Will you allow that pain to be known - that you will be that pain?

Your pain is not they’re awakening and they are not living it. That is not your pain. Your pain is you want every being to be free. It’s a very beautiful pain and in that, you’ll burn deeper.

And pain will literally turn into compassion. Compassion is you going right into the intimacy of another and what they are. That’s compassion.

In deeper levels you’re going to discover that’s what’s happening. Dependent on how deep you realize intimacy here, in deeper levels we literally become each other.

That will nourish your heart and the deep will open even more. That calls you to really come into this life as Being Knowing.


The Golden Thread of Knowing

There is need to check out the weather. No need to make believe that all is good. It's just the knowing of What You Are, which has no opposite. It doesn't mean having a good feeling, a good experience. The One Good is here, listening to these words in any weather. That straightens up all the levels of the body-mind, you can feel it coming up the body and raising up the vibration. 

Belong to the smallest Knowing, which is the smallest thread and this thread is running throughout all life, this thread I Am. Only the Real is on this thread. There is only the Real. Illusions, the illusion of the belief that I am a somebody, the illusion that I need to navigate through any 'weather' is not on this thread. The illusion that I need to feel good is not on this thread. But this thread is able to make real all that you have in this life. It is able to make it real by turning the Knowing of this life to whatever you do. So you're doing something and there is 'weather', the weather of the mind doing this or that, the weather of thoughts and feelings, the weather of grief, the weather of anger, the weather of emotion - it is weather! You don't have a destination to get through and navigate through this. There is none, you're not going anywhere.

When you are going through 'weather' which are are the conditional sense-forms that you are a somebody, don't begin to navigate through it to find some form of goodness, some form of rightness or some form of feeling. You give up the compass. The weather will then get a little bit more turbulent but you are still not navigating, you are being true through the heart, then those pieces of weather, which are old habits and ways of functioning as a somebody are transformed in the weather-less You, the light of You. 

Wherever you are true in whatever you are doing, levels of the body-mind are transformed. They are like seeds of Reality that then belong to the golden thread. Integration in the body and in the mind. Integration means: no weather can affect that level of you in your self and person. Until eventually the whole body-mind of the self and person is integrated in the golden thread as Knowing. All that you are and all that you have in the body-mind is tugged, this thread is pulled, it is like a hand pulling the golden thread and no matter what weather you are in, you know you know more than trying to navigate the weather. This plane of reality will never cease having all sorts of weather. The mind will carry on creating weather...simply cease navigating! Be true to the Knowing. Then the body-mind is integrated into the golden thread. You begin to see that no matter what the weather, you are the Knowing shining through it all. No need to navigate. Everything is retuned and naturally aligns with the golden thread that is passing through it and turns into the 'no-weather-all weather-movement' of the light of You.



On this level of reality or the real, reality or the real is the One who is listening to these words now.
Not a self, not a body.  Everything seen in this level of reality is made of the light of reality itself.
No subject and no object. So then objects do not determine or tell you what you are. They are instruments of the light of perception of what you are: undivided attention, wholly total reality filling out this reality with You as Awareness.



All Matter Is Equal

The moment we come from just a little bit deeper than  the 'weather' (within and without) , we're in the beginning of what we are, that has no end.  In not navigating the weather you are then that intelligence in this human level of reality. That's what makes humanity real, Reality real humanness. The moment you see yourself navigating through weather close up the compass, turn off the GPS, be clear and true to Knowing. First what happens is a sense of everything can rest and nothing matters, not in the old way of 'nothing matters' but in the way that nothing really matters or is real other than this Knowing, which makes everything real. Then the mind has no images of what matters more than any other matter. Then all matter is equal. All matter is equal there is no thing that matters on its own. It All matters, in other words it's no longer controlled by a mental attitude and an emotional movement. Matter is illumed then by the Light of Knowing . All is equal on every level. 

This equilibrium is Pure Awareness knowing it knows. Nothing is singled out. Everything is the Singular, the Whole, nothing is divided. In that immediate knowing: nothing is divided you'll find you settle down, immediately in your humanness as this Knowing being human. Then ALL weather is glorious.  


The Wonder Of The Deep Formed

Keep walking into the deep. Let the deep have your legs, let the deep have your lungs , have your heart, let the deep have your life! It is really remaining truly present, truly Here and Now. Not something that is in some book...Here is what You Are, infinite. On this level infinity is space. Now is what You Are, multi-dimensional in nature.There is always deeper than this level of experience until the only experience is 'I Am' - on every level, seamlessly free, no matter what. This is what you are realising. You must be willing to live this fully because there is another matrix that is being lived here that is not true, that is an illusion. But the body is not an illusion. The world is the illusion, the earth is the wonder of the deep formed. 

Day 6

"Your real body is a body of knowing Awareness."

"All of life, regardless of how it looks, conspires to directly show you, you are already free." 

“Continued use of thoughts and feelings unrelated to what one is is called society.”

“Triggers distract you from being no-thing.”

“If you stop tracking you, you realise You. Cease the tracking.
See the mechanism of the heart drawn to result rather than no-thing.”

"When bright Consciousness and bright Energy get together you have the building of a Oneness relationship. You have a building of a union that is already taking place in the deep."

Man And Woman

Q: Can you expand on the meeting of man and woman. I hear you usually speak this...

B: I haven't spoken of this in Aeons! Let's look at what is first, man and woman is what is last, they just keep putting themselves first. When you say "I hear you speak of ...", right there you can enter a deeper frequency direct as Knowing. If you are hearing, hearing is made of the Knowing. It looks like you are hearing through a brain or through somebody with experience but hearing is made of the Knowing, sight is made of the Knowing and taste is made of the Knowing - all the elements  are made of Knowing. Prior to the elements I Am, knowing I Am.


Anything that you hear is made of the Knowing. Stay with that, then anything that 'someone over here' (B) seems to say that matches the heart of your Knowing is not 'someone over here' knowing. It is Knowing knowing and that is Oneness moving. The field rises because the Knower-sphere is the Knowing knowing, hearing it knows and everything rises up. That's the transformation of self into a movement of Being. 

It is essential for this to be first, otherwise we end up putting what is last, first.  

Man and woman do not come into this until the Beingness of what is man or the Beingness of what is woman is already entering this. The light of the Knowing and the light of Knowing being lived, being drunk, being walked, spoken, formed.That light of knowing raises up an apparent man but it raises up the consciousness. That apparent Knowing raises up the woman. Then there is man and woman, who are not actually man and woman. They are awakening on the level of Being and awakening on the level of Being and uniting in the level of Being - Consciousness and Energy . When bright Consciousness and bright Energy get together you have the building of a Oneness relationship. You have a building of a union that is already taking place in the deep.

But you have to be clear about this because that kind of connection is going to empty out this idea that you are a man or a woman. It will go right to the belief that you are a man that exists in time, that you are a woman that exists in time. It will go right to that belief and it will undo the pockets of holding on to likes and dislikes as a man or a woman. It will empty them. 

So often we may be called or experience another in the light of our Awareness, in the light of the heart, but hey what about the whole of humanity in that immediate experience of Being? But we just bring that down to man and woman.So then you are called beyond this idea of man or woman, therefore you will go beyond the ideal of man and woman.  That's an emptying out of a contracted belief and this has to look a certain conditioned way to work. Because if you made a connection in the deeper communion of Being, you already transcended the idea that you're man and woman. You met in the profundity of Being - Consciousness, Energy, brightness - already one. That's a state of Love but it's a Love that doesn't belong to a sense of self. It belongs to a movement of Being and the birth of the Being in every moment that is becoming. But never does it enter linear time. That's the mind's idea that makes an image of this meeting as a man and a woman. So there is this union of that that is already One. All the ideas of what it is to be a woman, all the ideas of what it is to be a man, all the ideas of what it is to be together are going to be a nice big funeral pyre!

Your old way is to get out of that fire. Your new way is to stay in it, because all that can burn is only cause and effect. Images in the mind, images of imagination in the feeling sense, conditionality, that's all that can burn. Burning away the condition to make way for the unconditional union, streaming from that place arriving in the heart, the body, the meeting, the right condition - emptiness. Emptied of the belief I was ever a particular woman, ever a particular man. Then you are right Here right Now - infinite Awareness as woman, infinite Awareness as man.. or are you simply infinite Knowing knowing. And there can be this wonderful meeting and transference of Being, but it will bring up all the conditions you imposed on any form of relatedness. 

But the opportunity to realise the depth of such a meeting, without putting conditions on it and most definitely without control,  is rare, bacause the belonging to the knowing of Being and what it brings forth is your very love and if two can share that same knowledge and Knowing they can become one Love as One Body, expressing the infinite nature of aware Knowing. They can mirror to each other in a living knowledge of what they're deeply entering, which is more than sense perception. They enter the mystery revealing the mystery. 

Any name given to that, any plummet down is identification with linear time. You will need to go through that and not bail out of that or turn away from that invitation to clear that level through the burning of what you once believed in. But you're really seated in the Knowing. You have to be really deeply clear about this. Because she will bring to him his nightmare of separation. She will bring it to him. She will lay it on his plate. She will bring all the forms that are causes and effects. You are given those for she has believed in those too.  But if he has really seen her in the light of his bright Awareness and her inner dance of mystery, then she will definitely empty out all causes and effects for she is none other than what He is as the Feminine Principle of a cosmic reality. You need to,as Awareness, meet the causes and effects in this body-mind, because they will spill out of his and they will show him what he loves. Does he love her in the depth of the Beingness that he knows he saw her in the light of his own Awareness or does he need something from her, want something from her ?

 If he is called to the light that he saw connected in his own heart, he will die for that and basically that's what happens. And she will die for that meeting if she as aware knowing that has touched the depth of where he now comes from. Then she will practice staying open and self emptying and it will cost her all her self images, it will cost him all his self images. And sometimes they want to get out of this, sometimes they will want to run and they will say: "I am out of here! But really they don't want to be out of Here- infinite space, this Now, the eternal possibility of forming the relatedness from what is already One. That's their yearning, to know God in true forms of living loving Oneness. The mind will say: "This isn't working." but our heart will say: "Yes it is ! It is absolutely working!" You cannot let go of such a love. It keeps calling you and calling you:" Die for me, die for me ! Die for that that is true!" But it is never going to be for your self. It will be for the union point within, where energy and consciousness move to the tune of realisers realising. 

Day 7  

"Awareness resolves it all. Nothing to solve. All resolved in the being of aware Knowing." 

"Pictures, pictures washed away, never to come up yet another day! 
You don't need them, they have no value. You are vacant, pouring out the vacancy of immediate aware forming." 


Space and Time

Now you are clear that you do not move as space and time. Space is the infinite nature of the One who really is Knowing. Time is the truth that it has multidimensional outpourings, unformed and unseen with the human eye but known in the knowing of Awareness, pouring out manifesting what appears to be a sense-perceptible universe. But the universe is not made of sense, it only makes sense here in your brain. 

Pretty unique in many ways that the universe that is just behind this is a deeper reality outpouring in the light of one's knowing , 'here' is made sense of and never does it move in time. It is a movement of Now, moved by the Deep, flowing like a river expressing what truly is. It is not an appearance in a space of 3D dimensions, but is an appearance in the space of infinite Awareness, the one who is listening to these words now. 


Your Own Social Media

The world is your own social media, it's in you,  'here', this overlay of mind on the pristine no-image of the earth. The earth is not an image, it's a living Beingness moved by the Goodness which is the One, giving the possibility of expression in matter of true forms of living Awareness. Then I can say: "I am That" and it doesn't just stay on the surface but the whole body responds to that living knowledge. Not a surface body, not an image in your mind but the openness of the real body, which is a body of Being. Being prior to the image in the mirror. 

Your body is not something fixed as an image , it's a sensation of Pure Awareness, a being that knows that it is knowing  Not a body but knowing aware. It's direct, not anywhere else. Right here.


Day 8

"She is not a woman. She is the profound energy and power, sometimes called Shakti, which is already one with the divine Consciousness, which makes all this possible and has a direction. The direction is the expression of Truth or the profound expression of Pure Awareness."  

" A belief that is real is not of your mind. It's not a thought, it is beyond your mind as a self in the place of You, that I call You-Awareness.”

"She will lead you to Self-Realisation for that's what She loves. She loves to lead you home to You, for you are The Self and She is already in your arms through your heart."

"There  is no past and future to you because you are the presence of what is Here and Now." 

"All this moves spontaneously in and as What You Are, regardless of conditional experiences.
You just thought you were that condition but all conditions form the unconditional nature of your heart." 

"The deeper I see and know that richness demonstrates apparent poverty -  the poverty of ever believing I am someone, the poverty of believing there is others, the poverty of believing there is up and there is down."


You Are The Presence Of What Is Here And Now

It is not that you are 'stuck' in patterns because you are eternal in nature. If you truly look, you will not know a beginning or end. Only if You as Awareness move in the ideas of the mind, then you will wrongly perceive that there is a past and a future to You. But that's not the truth. There  is no past and future to You because you are the presence of what is Here and Now. These are not just words.

Now is the timeless truth of what You Are and there are moments when time just doesn't exist, because unless you think in terms of 'horizontal', there is no time.  


The Crumbling Of The Belief In You As A Person

What you will go through and be meeting is the dissolution of ever believing that you were born, that you had past, that you will have future and that everything belonged to you as a person. That will all start to crumble. That's what awakening does! Only that that can crumble will crumble, everything else makes you truly wonderfully humble,  truly wonderfully pure. You begin to realise what You Are and this will upset your plans for the future...


It is 'I' And It Appears As This Life

In being true I opened to Knowing and the Knowing appeared as my breath, the Knowing appeared as this movement that is ever present. It is 'I' and it appears as this life and it is good and one can say "It is good." and there is only the Good. Then who is that that is speaking and knowing ?  It is the One that truly is. There is no one else here and it is 'I'. 


There Is No Power Over Presence 

You draw to you what you have not yet understood is made of you. Dark or light, up or down, in or out - so then what the Dark Feminine is,  if you want to use those terms, is the belief that there are past forms that determine what truly is. There is no such thing as a past form and no such thing as a power that has power over the Presence.  Power belonging to a believed past with a believed future is the chaos that one may experience when one returns to the immediacy of knowing the Knowing as Awareness itself, displacing the idea of darkness in terms of past and future, want and need, this and that. That is all displaced, allowing Consciousness to realise what It is direct.


Integration is of ‘Knowing’, Not Of The Masculine and Feminine


Integration isn't of the Feminine and Masculine. It's the integration of Knowing. Knowing then moves in the Feminine and Masculine and then moves on the surface as a perceived man and woman. Men and women are not made of the Feminine and Masculine principles, they are made of Awareness, freeing Awareness from the polarity of any gender or ‘agenda’. Otherwise you will not be free.


There Is No Polarity In The Masculine And Feminine

 Man: In your teaching I have gathered that we're all Awareness coming into form and that's sphere the polarity of the Masculine and Feminine come into play....

B: There is no polarity of the Masculine and Feminine - there's believed polarity when you have named yourself a man and a woman..

Man: No, I am not talking about that...

B: Then no, there is no polarity in the Masculine and Feminine. The Masculine and Feminine are already one. The principles are un-changeable,  one in Being. They only seem to split. This is why Yin and Yang seem to be in you. The more they come into form, they take appearance (form-appearance) of what is feminine and what is masculine. In other words, men don't have wombs, a chamber that manifests seeds of reality on this level and women don't have phalluses, which represent the pointing of Pure Consciousness.

Man: I am not even interested in the man/woman thing because for me it is that the Manifest is the Feminine and the Consciousness is the Masculine, whether it's man or woman – we are all that..

B: ...and if you go deeper, it is Pure Consciousness purely aware..

Man: But as it arises in the form… that is the Feminine right?

B:  ….giving the one who is hearing these words the possibility or the growing ability to manifest true conscious forms in appearance, in three-dimensional space and time. 

In you and anybody else, you and the tree, in whatever you do for She is not a woman. She is the profound energy and power, sometimes called Shakti, which is already one with the divine Consciousness, which makes all this possible and has a direction. The direction is the expression of Truth or the profound expression of Pure Awareness. 

It takes a bit of enquiry to come into understanding the details of this. What I do is, I will go first to Source and then ‘downstream' so to speak. Sometimes if you ask a question, let's say about man and woman, I will go there but I will still take you back up that river. Otherwise Consciousness is divided between men and women and the idea of feminine power and masculine consciousness. You will keep dividing, but it is all within You.  Give that a name, any name, and you are in duality. Stay with that in you and you will discover how What You Are is manifesting what you are belonging to in your Knower-sphere. 

Man: I can relate to that from experiences, this verticality of presence and the movement of attitudes or many different manifestations and forms taking place within and outside.

B: Yes, but don't separate that for it's a singular movement. It is one movement and it never splits into two. Whether you say masculine or whether you say feminine, it is one total movement. I we could speak in the deep, which we can,  we would no longer adhere to the law of manifest form. We would be in the law of metaphysical energy, knowing and presence . The deeper you go a different law applies. So the law here, in what we are speaking of, is your possibility to manifest in a manner of Pure Knowing or pure control, which isn't control of somebody but it is You being so clear as to What You Are, that what pours into form is what you are being in another place.

Just like when you look at a baby, no matter what that baby is like, you don't see a distortion, you see a pure form of where that being is pouring from. There is nothing wrong there, it is perfect. When we add an identity to the one who is being that and becoming, that is a polarity and distortion begins to happen. The moment there is anyone owning this in thought, feeling or any manner, there is duality. If you didn't add a name to what You Are then what you are would simply continue to manifest in perfect forms of the immediate experience of what the deep is. This is not just words, it IS what is present


When You Fear Her, That Is The Moment You Die For Her 

Man: Sometimes I have this joy, happiness and inner freedom and I recognise this in what you are speaking of but if I am that joyful and happy towards a particular person, patterns come up fast, with woman in particular. If there is a beautiful woman and I am shining in my love and happiness towards her, she believes I want something from her or I have fear of rejection coming up.

B: You see, this is why I love that you can come and be here and walk into what I Am, because it is what You Are. You see, when you come into what I Am, what I Am moves to show you: YOU Are what I Am. Only in that manner do I have any value and can I even speak. I speak only because it serves.


When you speak about woman, you are actually demonstrating in what you speak, that you believe she is other then another half of you. But she is undivided. It is you that is dividing here and if you divide her you will fear her. And so you will actually speak in fear of her because you have divided her in you. That's your fear of her. 

When you speak of woman, behold her as you. Don't divide her from you because of the knowing that in beholding her you moved in self, to have her for your self, mistaking your self for You. You mistook your self for You. You wanted her because she is the other half of you. That calling is not division. You are calling her to you for she is the other half of you. But in your confusion that she is outside and separate from you, you call her for you in your self, where she is not one with you. Because unless your self is made open like You, then to have woman for your self is to divide her from you. That shows up as: you fearing her.

What she is also demonstrating as She who has no name but is the tremendous beauty that you love as your very own self, what She is demonstrating to you, if you can see this is: in mistaking your self for You and having her for your self, you will have shame. Shame, that you took her for your self and divided her and made her two where really she is you, who is One. You will have guilt and shame on the level of person. 

If you don't deal with that in terms of being true, clear and honest as a being, then that enters everyday life, in what you do, how you move, what you say and what you build. You will build something for you as a self, believing that's you as a being.You will even divide the manifest form of her, which is the other half of you. This will have you seeking her pleasure, which is her beauty, her profundity for your self. You will never find it whilst you believe that you will find her in and for your self but not directly in YOU. 

 Everything you do then will be for your self. Within that you are realising that the energy of what She is, is actually the pure sexuality of building the universe. Everything you do is made with her sexuality. If it is for your self it's sex, if it is for you as a being it is the manifestation of the making of Love. Whatever you do, whatever you touch, wherever you go is the manifestation of Love and this is what she loves. You will know her in You. And in knowing her in you, she spills out in your self and she comes to you in form and she says to you: " Never was I a body or a self, I am Her, that that you love as You."  And She makes form of Her for You and yet she builds it in a sense of self, so that you can see her, hold her, be with her, kiss her.  What you are really kissing is the universe and bigger. If you love her that dearly, She will show you her cosmic body. You must be prepared to die to your self to realise Her in you. 

Then there is fulfillment and she will calm your heart and still your mind. First she will steal it and then she will still it - silence. You will begin to perceive so profoundly and deeply, you will weep that she could ever come into your arms.


Realise in you, She will lead you to Self-Realisation for that's what she loves. She loves to lead you home to You, for you are The Self and she is already in your arms through your heart. This is what she loves: You being You, realised as your Self in your self. She dances for You, who is One with no beginning and end.  She will take all your fear from you and show you the great Love She already is in you -as ‘Here’ - but in You. Never were you two. When you fear her, that is precisely the moment you die for her...

Don't identify with her and the is not a 'don't with a raised finger ' it's a gentle, a whispered, a wonderful 'don't'. You die for her by seeing her with your heart and knowing her with your heart, even though she crucifies you in your self. Then she will give you all her power, which is the power to manifest what You are because you no longer need it. In that you serve all beings to realise the same, in You. That is Love without Duality...

Your love of her needs to be profound. To be profound you will need to go to a ground beyond your sense of self. She will ensure this is what you do and until you do, she will divide her from you, but this is her game.

Did I answer your question?

Man: Yes and way beyond! I have a belief that everything is Love and that's the most important in the whole universe..

B: Ok, then keep that in the Knowing ok? A belief that is real is not of your mind, it's not a thought. It is beyond your mind as a self. This is in the place of You, that I call YOU - Awareness.

Man: I sometimes feel this 'trying', you know, 'trying to be in love' and then not being true. There is a fear of being love, a fear to love and be loved ..

B: What does that have to do with woman? 

Man: It just 'shows' with women.

B:  Notice you said 'women'? Women are multiple - She is one.  Let' stay with what you first said. You see her through many different sexual bodies. While you see her through your sense of self, she means more to you as sex rather than as Love.

Sex means :’I need more experience of her sexual body, before I can commit to love her’. That's duality. That means that you are confused - on a real level you're confused. You are believing that what you love is the body of woman but not the love of Her, which is her real body. So you put faces and bodies on her as if her faces and her body is Her and it's not. She shines free of any face or any body. That's what She is - Love itself shining behind any face or any body.  

Whilst you believe that you can experience Her in many different women, you will be using your self and what She is, related to your self. It will turn her into as movement of sex, needing more sexual experience before you are available to not need sexual experience through different bodies to be what She is.  You will go through woman after woman after woman to see that you are totally dissatisfied but you have not met Her as yet. You might have had a lot of sex and in the Tantra field you might have had ‘great sex’, but great sex is not immense love. So then the sexual energy is still only forming a self-identity. Then what She is cannot form what your heart is because you are needing more sex.

Until you give up her in wanting experience rather than meeting what She is, she can only display herself in a multitude of bodies that you chase after and never become settled. You will need one tantric session after another, and will go from one experience to another and this shows up in your life. You will need this experience and when that project is done you will need that experience...That is how this works ..

Finally you are called only to be one with her in love, then you're going to be called to go through the eye of a needle, where all your past activity and your past sexuality is met to burn up the belief that she is a body and she is sex. She is Love!  Then you will go through hell, more than likely with a woman, to meet what Love is and die through the idea that she is sex. 

Her Love forms the relationship of where you are coming from and what she opens herself to in you. Her lower endeavour is to hold on to you, to hold on to your consciousness at a level that she wants to shape in her old known way.

Then finally you meet someone who is drawn to more than having sex and more than to holding a relationship through not allowing anything to change. Then there is a possibility that you will go through the loop together into the realising the One - transforming sex from lower sphere to radiant wholeness. Transforming the consciousness in a direction that brings you both into Self-realisation and bliss. 


Then the forming love, the moving love, the realising of more love is the energy , body and consciousness that you begin to realise and move by. It just keeps deepening. All the old images pull out of your mind and of your root chakra and everywhere. No longer is sex distorted as something for you, but it opens as that that transports Pure Consciousness into depth of great possibility of  embodiment. Great Love begins to have pure functionality in a relatedness that is no-dual.

Non-dual means there is nothing to fight anymore - no duel, no need to fight as two but to move in the Oneness. You realise because you die for this realising. The fear is the need to have further experience, rather than profound awakening, which ends all need of experience. You are That.  Only in that manner can tantra bring Self-realisation for both the apparent man and woman.Then it is an embodiment and a relatedness that is not two but One.


Man, Head Upstream To Where She Really Is.
Man, to believe you still need further experience of more women, is to live in the past. You have actually gone beyond that but your mind tells you you haven't. Head upstream to where She really is. She awaits you. All your fears then will let loose, realise they are false evidence appearing real - using the energy of fear to propel you deeper, not in need but in the desire to realise what She is. 


Day 9

"It's not that you will come into Freedom, it's that you ARE Freedom."

"On this level, what appears to be many different forms is a singular movement all made of Awareness but enabled 'here' to have sight, taste, touch, smell - Knowing.

"Live this life as though you have no beginning or end, because you don't. See how much more you will be free, see how much you will live fully. See you much you will benefit other beings because of your fearless participant in What Is." 

"A drop of water doesn't get lost in a puddle, a river, in an ocean or in a cloud - it remains water." 

"Yesterday's contraction, gone into and realised, becomes today's expansion."

"What You Are pervades where you are. You are the 'where', you are the 'how', you are the Here, you are the Now. You cannot be anywhere but Here and Now." 

"When you are knowing Love with another, then there is no other - Love is a prior state of union." 

"There is no doing here - it all moves because of What One Is."

"One cell in the body is the whole body, one human being is the whole humanity, one star in the sky is the whole universe, one word is every word yet to be spoken or spoken."

"When you're emptied of the thought-forms of a particular stationary self, then that emptiness is now available to be filled by what you're awakening to." 

"It seems that you left home to come home, until you realise you are the home of All That Is in constant return to All That Is." 


Particles Of Knowing

The light of the Self is simply that that is pouring out of the profound Black, which is Awareness, the Absolute. That light seemingly has particles but is non-separate and non-dual and is the first instant, which is also a ridiculous thing to say for there is only the first instant and it is this instant. There is no other instant. This is the instant in which everything becomes instant. 

This particle of Knowing then can be said to be Being or beings but all beings spring from the Absolute, which is Awareness. Any cell in your body represents the whole body, any particle of light represents Light or Knowing or The Self. Then dependent on how one is knowing light in a particle also the whole realises What Is. Then What Is is contained in that particle, but it is also the whole. The part is the whole and the whole is the part. 



The World Is In You
The world is in you - not outside. If anything happens in the world, it happens in the world in you. It does not happen outside and if the world gets stronger, that is you feeding the world in you stronger,  the belief in duality.


No Centre

When you are really You, you have no centre, you are the movement of the entirety. 
You assume that  your sense of self is your centre, but no, your centre is the knowing of the Knowing of any centre - whether it's a personal centre, a self-centre, a body centre, a thought centre, a feeling centre, You are the centre of it all. Go deeper and You Are It - no centre. 


The Only Experience 

When you Awareness,  fully come into this level as Awareness from the levels of deeper Knowing or your Being,  you might call that The Self.

When you have had enough of personalising experience, then the only experience is Pure Awareness knowing it knows, from which a seeming subject called 'I ' and objects in apparent space and time manifest - all within your own Awareness. It becomes clearer and clearer that what you believe in on this level manifests, no matter what it is. You can have what you want until you realise you are All that truly is.

Then what need of want, what want of need is there?


No Longer Becoming

Look at the words you use. You believe words are just words but they are the sound of You creating You yet never come into your creation.Once you have become you will be lost in becoming. You will have to be lost in the becoming for some while and you will become 'someone'. You have become. Now realise you're over becoming! Realising is no longer becoming anything or anyone. It's the undoing of becoming anything. 


Contraction Is A Gift

Contraction is simply another pair of much lighter hands holding What Is, pointing to a door on the surface that leads beyond the surface into the deeper Knowing. Contraction then is a gift that should not be shunned away. Contraction is calling your attention to portholes into a deeper reality that as yet you can't see or you refuse to go into - either way it doesn't matter. 


The One And Only Taste

Bring all your attention directly to the Awareness of Knowing, much deeper than your usual kind of Awareness on this level identified with thought-forms. Know knowing direct, not a thought. That is a taste but that one taste is the Whole. One cell in the body is the whole body, one human being is the whole humanity, one star in the sky is the whole universe, one word is every word yet to be spoken or spoken.

You delight in this . The delight is you delighting in you. You will be extracting all the old forms. This will be too abstract for your usual kind of mind, the mind will get bored with this and you will believe it is you getting bored with this. You will pick up the known. If you pick up the known, see it in your hands and see it like you never have before, it will become the New. It is You seeing from where you see from that makes everything new. You are its power. It's made of the Seeing and the Knowing. Never did you become anything. The becoming is the miracle of You being You. 

Is the taste lost? What is the taste of water? Is this some kind of other water? Does water have a past and future? You know it doesn't. So every taste is the first taste. How can there be anything else you're tasting? So that taste is beyond a first or last taste, it is the only taste. 

Keep moving as that first taste. You have not lost it but it will cost you the belief that there is anything to taste. This ends time in you. How can you go forward when you know you've tasted all there is to taste? How can you make distance of time of that first one and only taste? That's what you thirst for, the first one and only taste, for there is no other taste that tastes like that. You know this because you Are This. 


Here It Has Form

When you're emptied of the thought-forms of a particular stationary self, then that emptiness is now available to be filled by what you're awakening to. Then you grow in the Knowing of what you're entering. Here this has form but it's all made of You knowing more of You - Aware. 


The Puzzle is Resolving

Q: The words that you speak they open something inside of me and my heart just cracks open and there is this pouring out of pain but it is so beautiful at the same time. It really doesn't make sense - it's a divine puzzle.

But now you're not puzzled. The pouring out is the direct realisation of what you once were puzzled about but now the puzzle is resolving. So you're no longer putting puzzles together. You then must be the well of Being pouring, forming, moving, deepening, undoing, returning, realising, expressing for all Eternity, which knows no beginning to end. And yet you're beyond that. 


Everything Is Seamless

There are no levels in You, there are no seams in You. You move in 'everything is seamless', all made of You. Then you realise. I have no need to move, to realise What I Am. Then, that that one is streams - endlessly.


Day 10

"Forms that manifest from your being you cannot miss, because you are made of them, they are made of you - it's a singular movement. Mind stands still for such a movement of Being forming."


 Slowness In The Dance Of The Form

Doer-ship is created when Awareness believes it owns forms, thought forms, feeling forms, psychological forms. Forms as others, forms as places, forms as the past and believed forms in the future. When we own forms everything is quite speedy, but they are all thought forms really, forms that don't have transparency in them, denser forms.  

When you dance The Form, and you are in the enjoyment of the slow movement that is the discovery of: "What does form contain, what does a movement contain and more precisely, what do 'I' contain? You discover a finer perception of form and the deeper level you're entering. Everything slows down in your perception when You who is aware are looking for something finer.  You will see directly as Knowing. You're not looking for an object, you're looking for a finer light form of You.

You are entering greater depth of perception and a greater depth of Knowing and within that you apprehend a greater depth of intelligence and of Being. The sweetness then is Beingness being revealed - it is beyond your mind. You're extracting the more solid forms of thought, psychological, mental and physical past. Your'e extracting the solid form called 'your name'. When you have extracted the level of your name you will go deeper and as you go deeper.  Time stands still because there is no time in that kind of depth. Everything slows down in your perception. But one drop of what you are entering, should it enter time, could be like a million years.

The sweetness is you getting in touch with your Being, its forms are sweet because You don't pass away. Mental forms, emotion, physical forms pass away but the forms of your Being do not.  When you're knowing the sweetness of your being, which is a greater depth of what you are, it can stream up onto this level and through You being one with It - I call that Awareness-Knowing - that level then, through You, begins to come into form. 

You will no longer be interested in any construct of form, although its foundation will be in Being and could be said to be eternal, but the building itself, the building blocks, the size, the shape will be of no concern to you anymore. You will belong to where it has come from. That 's the sweetness you are coming into - deeper level of your own being.

Forms that belong to your person you hold together with power given away to personal relationship.  You just whizz through them and there is no depth. You're just holding forms together and you say that's mine or that's 'me'. Forms that manifest from your being, you cannot miss because you are made of them, they are made of you - it's a singular movement. Mind stands still for such a movement of Being forming. Time stands still because it's not made of time out of a person. That's the idea within temples- it's also the idea of the body but the body is the temple really.  It is that such temples or such embodiment - even time recognises it flows out of that timelessly, so it stands still. 

Walking into such depth undoes the shallow appearances that cannot hold what you're coming into. The old foundation of your old manner is not sound enough, it can't take that power.  How you use mind, how you move will, how you do, how you see and where from, all that changes because it comes into a greater ground and all you do from that greater ground has stability in that that doesn't pass away. 

When your mind belongs to your heart, which belongs to your being, which belongs to the deep, you are stable in the movement of mind because that stability has gone all the way into the depth of the sweetness you are discovering. That is actually what The Form is about - The Form is not you doing something 'over there'.  The Form is your daily life. Come into a greater depth and your movement is the movement of that depth, formed living movement of Being. 


Day 11

“Truth is not a state, something you reach. It’s an immediate awareness that all is arising in Awareness. Then you can add: “I am aware.” 

"Stay aware, knowingly aware. Stay in that root and you will find that what life brings you  is the flowering of All that You Are." 

"There is no non-duality or duality,  there only is What Is and the listener is What Is, filling up all dimensions, outpouring all dimensions and of itself is dimensionless - whole. That is what is here."  

"You're looking at beauty in the past but You Are the beauty of the Present."

"The more deeply you are being true to Knowing, aware, you are not distracted by any images of the past. You're only ever distracted by images of the past when you believe you've had a past, when you believe you are a self and when you believe you have a future. "

"In any moment that you are true to Knowing as Awareness to your heart and deeper, a petal on the flower of your real heart flowers, which flowers a higher state of knowing Being."

"You want to meet You, in everyone you meet. Whether it's a tree, a star in the sky, you want to meet that directly in the level of form. You want to know what the formless is purely like in form." 

"Stay aware, knowingly aware. Stay in that root and you will find that what life brings you is the flowering of all that You Are." 

"Everything is made of the deep, whether it be sound, form, taste, touch - it is all the deep."

"There is only I and deeper I am not. I am and I am not." 

"Awareness is able to move in the deep streams of the light of Awareness until there is no light that is needed to know I Am Aware; the realisation of the Absolute.
 "Here is the experiment of bringing the unchangeable into changeable spheres." 

"If you're not true in your self, your self can't be the Truth that You Are." 

"The body-mind is 'temping' until you come fully embodied, because You are not a 'temp' you're not temporary. When you're not temporary then What You Are will become fully embodied. Until then your body-mind is temping, waiting for You to come fully into this."

"All that I speak to you from is that that I realise, that that I actuate and that that I live.
I Am the living way of Love and Truth."   

"Little by little and sometimes large streams by large streams you begin to realise: " God, I have no beginning and end!" 




Pure Knowing

In Awakening you are entering into greater depth of what you are and it has no 'I' - that's why there is only Knowing knowing - it is not known or knowable as a subject with objects as it is on this level. It is Pure Knowing. Moving as Pure Knowing you return as a child, sweet, innocent and you move and it's all very spontaneous but even that word doesn't mean anything to you now, because it is just what you are. You are already the movement that moves the stars and it is What Is. 


Infinite Possibility - Right Here Right Now

When you are awakening at a deeper level you can only know it as Pure Knowing and you will just say "I know!" and you're knowing it as Awareness - infinite. So then there is infinite possibility within the Knowing, right here, right now in what appears to be someone's life. 


You Are The Beauty Of The Present

You're looking at beauty in the past but You Are the beauty of the Present. You are looking at something that you liked in the past but that's your self looking at it and getting a feed. Your brain is flickering pictures and images of what you have programmed your mind to believe you need and it looks like people and places but it's mostly mental and emotional attitude wrapped in colours. In deeper levels of your Being none of this happens: Pure Being. 


Realisation Is Now

Realisation is Now. There is no one who is not a realiser realising. If you want to realise and keep realising states of formation personalising experience then that is what you are doing - but you are still a realiser realising. 


The New Never Touches The Old

The New never touches the old, never. Never does the New, which is the deep, ever have any relationship to the old. You do. You're able to split reality, you're able to move at untold speed into the past and live it and you're able to live the deeper sense. You are the seamlessness.  

Your mind thinks you can mix the level but no, the New never ever touches the past. It is You that brings it all together. You are the seamless fluid that makes it seem like the New, the deeper realisation is mixing with the old.

Slowly slowly as you really belong to deeper awakening, you unmix. You begin to know you're un-mixing because although you can still reflect off of the past, it doesn't touch you. There is no relating here because your relatedness is in the Now - far deeper and you are integrating deeper levels of Being Now. Those deeper levels of Being Now never enter space and time in the manner in which you think they do - mixing with past ideas. That mixing is only going on in your mind. 


Here And Now is Infinite

'Here' for instance, is infinite. We say 'here' and the usual interpretation of 'here' is a place in which 'I' a centre' seems to exist standing now. 

'Here', the mind interprets as where a centre is here, a centre that has a knowing of form and yet never sees its face.

A centre,in which the mind says, there is space and distance between the objects of knowing. Here knowing is objective, I am knowing someone in their object form and I am knowing some thing as an object form. Whether it is a mountain, a tree, an animal, I am knowing an object. 

I never look at my body as an object. Why? 

Because my knowing of knowing being aware does not objectify my existence. I Am the centre of it. Therefore my body is not an object, it has become me. How come no other body is you? Why do you make another body and object?  You don't make an object of your body, but it is. It is pretty amazing if you can see that... 

Here the mind objectifies existence as an 'outside' but doesn't objectify my body, which is an object in my awareness. It then makes time, space, duration, distance, past and future, but 'Here' is the Infinite - no centre. Now is the truth that I, who am aware, can move right now beyond the appearance of this space time and move into deeper dimensions of Knowing - unformed. But I may be able to discover that I can move into formed dimension...maybe I can move into another dimension of  form

'Now' is interpreted by the mind as time but 'Now' is Awareness-Knowing able to move deeper than this moment that appears to be formed as a subject with objects. Now then is not time but Infinity - Eternity where the Infinity (Awareness) can move in Eternity into its body of Awareness, called The Self, multidimensional in nature. It is your brain that puts you in this particular place of Here and Now , but you can walk in deeper levels of Now..and you do.You go and collect  a deeper level in awakening and you bring it here. That's your inspiration. Then you attach that inspiration to being somebody and belonging to somebody and that limits you once again. When humanity moves as One, through realising, then this will all be different but in truth the kind of intimacy which will be here then is already HereNow.  It is thought that makes this dimension seem impossibly dense.


All Is Made Of Awareness-Knowing

'Equally', in the manner I am using it here, means everything is made of Awareness-Knowing. It is all equal. Equanimity is the truth that all you could ever smell, touch or know or move is made of Awareness-Knowing, the light in which we see, in which we know and taste. It is All made of light and that light is Knowing. And all that light knows is: 'it knows it knows'. It knows it knows it is aware. That is your primal experience. 

Then out of this, without moving away from it, Awareness through Knowing streams pure realms of Being and realms of Being that are conditional. Now Awareness is awakening in the realms of its Being. That is its Self. Awareness awakening in Itself,  the True Self. 

This body-mind self  is just a formed mirror of the Self. This is not your self. Your self is Knowing! You knowing your Self manifests, the knowing of that Self in goodness, clarity, beauty. So Knowing is your Self - You-Awareness. You are not 'someone' here. You are the centre of it all, wherever you go. Go deeper and you lose your centre. You won't need one the deeper you go. Every level you touch is You. There the beings merge and pass though each other - very little difference in each other just enough to be knowing Being together and that is beauty.



You can travel to the beginning of time - right now. You will not be bothered with much anymore. You will come into the timeless spheres of your being, where nothing is quantified. It is too vast to quantify it. That is what you love. 


A Star In The Sky Of Awareness

Q: I really enjoy what you're pointing to about about equanimity and that we are all 'realisers realising' and there is no hierarchy of Knowing or knowledge. We're all at a level in a sense...

B: What there is though is the activation of the Knowing and building of the Knowing in Awareness, appearing to be somebody, which means that another being can be on a deeper dimension still wearing human flesh. It doesn't mean they are any higher or any deeper, it just means they are coming from a deeper place of Reality than apparently someone else is. There is no distinction though between 'other' in that place. But you are a being and you can be whatever you want to be or you can be what you deeply are. There is still no hierarchy but there are deeper levels of Being activated appearing to be human. Such as a star for instance, to me a star is a light of a profound being, shining from a deeper place of Essence. 

Whoever 'this' is will at some point beam in the sky of Awareness for Awareness is a sky.  Everything that appears in it is a manifestation of the movement of Being-aware. So as you realise the light of what You Are, you will shine in your own sky. Here that will appear as a star. Some professor or other will go : " I have just found another star!". But it is You shining. 


Pour Yourself Into All That You Meet

How can you love, how can you know What Is, how can you understand experience if you don't pour yourself into all that you meet?  Pour yourself into all that you meet and you will understand what you've poured yourself into. But the pouring of You is what you already are, free. That kind of freedom poured into another awakens their own original freedom. But nobody is doing it. So yes, I am very clear about pouring What I Am into these meetings, into walking down the street, into being where I am. I am very clear that that is Awareness awakening to its own Knowing.


It just seems like it is 'here' but then I can see how it plays and opens up as individual beings moving and how some beings have mixed themselves up with the mental attitude, the emotional attitude of fixed time-space. But nonetheless, we are all still 'That' planted in what appears to be form, but we're actually the field as well as the seed as well as the planter as well as that that reaps that. That's what we are. The idea is to raise up in the garden of this life what you are now realising in deeper Knowing. So any seed here of the possibility to match what is vertical, is to for you to be the verticality in what seems to be a ground of  mental and emotional form. It's not, it's all planted in your ground of Being, which is prior to forming.  So then what is planted 'here', a human being with a mental and emotional attitude all wrapped up as 'being someone' cannot grow itself. It needs to be watered by that that actually planted it. So to mistake yourself as a human being means you can't grow What You Are in your humanity. 

The tendency then is to be 'human' and all humans mostly relate to the past and the need for a future and positive and negative vibes. They actually think they can raise themselves up but they can't, so they stay in the belief that hoping things will get better and then coping with what's happening . 

Q: I am devising all these strategies....

B: Totally and then if you think you are human and all this is happening because you are human, you build more distortion. Distortion not as 'wrong', but you build more distorted forms that you will relate to. You don't see that you are aware, knowingly aware and it is that, as You as Awareness, that has planted this humanness. Like the baby, no 'I- centre,  no centre. Loving experience, it's pouring  What It Is into this level. The I then becomes the seed within the ground of a greater reality having form as human. 

So in everyday life when you awaken, you water your humanity with self-knowledge relating to the heart. That's watering your humanity. Then your humanity, you begin to see, grows through you being true to Knowing . Otherwise you will just think this is endless repetition, which it is if you're using the mind. The experience of being human will be limited for you. You will stay in the limitation of  your father, your mother, your nation and your religion. All limited because it all passes away. But you are the unlimited Knowing that planted the seeds of a greater reality. Now reap them, that's the whole point.  

To know deeper than personalised experience is to water your humanity and grow the seeds of a greater reality, a deeper place of Knowing. You grow and what comes from you is nameless and formless but tangibly real. You convey a tangibly real reality beyond sense perception and it begins to make sense. 


No Distance And No Duration 

You are moving at an impossible speed of Now. When you awaken, you awaken to true knowledge which cannot be captured in a time space because it is Now . You become acutely deeply and gently aware of What Is and you're able to decode or read every level, prior to it coming here.

Somehow this movement that we call life is integrating so much more than a separate sensed life. Truly stars are being integrated in a human life. Scientists have already discovered that there is star-stuff in our bodies and in the earth, but they put distance on it, like all this came out of a massive explosion that happened X amounts of years ago, but actually it is an expression that is vibrating now and it is 'sensation'. All this is happening Now, It doesn't have any distance and has no duration. It's all Now. 


You Want To Meet You Directly

You want to meet You, in everyone you meet. Whether it's a tree, a star in the sky, you want to meet that directly in the level of form. You want to know what the formless is purely like in form. 


A Movement Of What I Am

There is this Knowingness in What I Am, this 'I' that is listening to these words now, that I am always more than what I do. What I Am comes before what I do, in fact What I Am moves what I do and there is no one that acts that. And so even the movement of the tree there in the wind is a movement of What I Am. That strikes in one, if it does, that all movement is profound and not limited to sense perception or a particular way of sensing or perceiving. In fact, movement is beyond what can be perceived but will flow into perception. 


Infinity Moving as Eternity

Go deeper than just sense perception and the experience is of dissolving. I simply descend into the depth of What I Am, but I will always be aware, knowingly aware as aware Knowing it knows.  What I Am is infinite without beginning and end.  In awakening we often touch upon this infinite-ness, this moment is infinite and I Am the infinity and somehow without going anywhere What I Am pours out into Now - the appearance or the movement of Infinity moving as Eternity. It is infinite in nature but no matter how I perceive, I am only able to perceive this level of Infinity in form.  I may experience it as conditionality but the conditionality is made of the Infinity appearing to be conditional. 


The Heart Is The Flower Of Flowers

As you live this life attuned to the heart of Knowing, do you love your heart enough to give up your mind as a way so that your heart becomes the only way? This is what happens when we awaken, we have more orientation and direction  with each breath from the heart. The heart is the flower of flowers. You respond and a particular petal of that flower opens. You respond totally to What You Are beyond this flower, the root of it will flower the whole flower. That would be Self-realisation right up into the most high, right up into the most deep. You would realise you are the entire cosmos, you as Awareness-Knowing and you are the Knowing of that cosmos, the supreme intelligence of it. You, as Awareness-Knowing . 

When we live our lives for this instead of building a separate sense of self,  we build a self that is one with the 'most Hhigh'.  In any moment that you are true to Knowing as Awareness to your heart and deeper, a petal on the flower of your real heart flowers, which flowers a higher state of knowing Being. There is a flowering or a nurture of the heart that opens up that that is beyond the body, for the body is only an appearance in the Awareness of your Knowing.  

By the wonderful love that one is and the genius that spills out of that pure mind, a brain that is a divine instrument, moves the Knowing into perceptions of forming. So when you are true to your heart, you are on 'the return' and that heart level streams up and streams down, deeper embodiment beyond a sense of a body, but a body of Pure Consciousness in the living flesh. 

When you live in harmony with what the heart is, you go to the most high and most deep within and the within is quite clearly seen to already be flowering everywhere. You see into the mystery because all there is is the mystery flowering. It is most delightful. It is the delight of Being, it is that that you're looking for, because you are it.


A Mental Location

Whilst you use thought, through the belief you're somebody that has a particular life-stream to do with thought, feeling and location then this location is actually a location of mentality. It's a mental location. So when you're moving life believing that you're somebody you don't go up but you use mind and mind of thought. All that you can use is the patterned sense of self that's handed down since time began. So you're not actually You moving, you're a puppet of personalisation of experience since time began. But when did time begin please? Now only.  


Awareness Knowing Depth

If you look, you know depth, you are knowing it; Awareness knowing depth. No movement of mind, no movement of anything. It is Knowing and you are knowing the deep. You are Knowing deep aware. Then there is a bird singing made of deep Knowing aware and the pillow case is deep Knowing aware and the warmth in the bed is deep Knowing aware. You still have not moved out of the deep and yet it is beginning to have lightness of movement and form. Not just physical form, but a fineness of form made of the light of Knowing and it has movement in that Awareness Knowing streams from the deep without leaving the deep and all is silent, although you wouldn't use the word 'silent' .... Open...   There are no words for this, here they are just pointers and all is good as within one's depth of Awareness, Awareness is streaming up from the deep as the deep. From light, the first Knowing-form: The Self. 

That movement continues to open all the way up to what could be said to be surface form. And you are still in bed but the bed is made of the deep. Everything is made of the deep, whether it be sound, form, taste, touch - it is all the deep and you have not gone anywhere.


Love Is Awareness True To Knowing

Love is the movement of Awareness being absolutely true to Knowing. That movement is Love. It is not union,  that's just another idea. It is just What Is. Awareness being true to the light of Knowing. It is not split into forms, into objects even into 'someone knowing'.  Knowing is knowing aware. That's a movement of profundity.   


What Was Black Became White

Q: Would you say that  form and emptiness is the same ?

B: Without speed or distance one is the depth of Pure Awareness. The silence IS that depth because the truth is that there is no thing, no one. Pure emptiness which is the absolute Awareness. From that absolute Awareness or Awareness desired to know it is aware... Then light streamed from nowhere, filling up the perception and what was black became white. 

Q: Time comes from that?

Time is an invention of this level of intelligence not as yet integrated into one's timeless nature. That takes not only a change of mind but the surrendering of the content of mind, which is consciousness.  A content of mind , which is all consciousness but it's not Pure Consciousness. That's up on this level of this vastness that is aware. There is only 'I' and deeper I am not. I am and I am not. 


One And Zero

For What I Am (I am not proposing I am not you and you are not me) to look into this deeply 'Here' everything returns to no-thing. And no-thing knows Awareness in all the shapes of things. Every single speck of the cosmos is known by and as Awareness knowing Knowing. Not objectifying. When an apparent one comes into this realisation you can read the cosmos like you can read this room, for it comes out of What You Are. Whether you call that silence or depth ..it doesn't matter and yet matter happens on this level...'This' is a level of reality but there is a greater reality than this level of reality - Reality being the Self-radiance. Deeper levels than this do not change the level of Being.  

Being Knowing-aware - aware to Knowing, which is Being. The Unchangeable is realised to be present Here. Never has it gone anywhere. Here is the experiment of bringing the unchangeable into changeable spheres. No purpose really other than what One is (if we can take the 'n' and the 'e' off 'one' -  you are '0' Zero ) The 1 is the moment of the Knowing, the 0 is Pure Awareness. So when you are Knowing you become one and that one is the only One. Never are there others. And that one is able to go back through the zero and remain Knowing- aware; the Absolute. 


Be The Deeper Truth

You are already Truth, in some manner you are Love but for that movement, which is Awareness being true to Knowing, to flow up to this level as Love, you need to know your self and BE the deeper Truth IN your sense of self. That's being true to your heart. Then your self opens up and is immediately emptied and filled in the same moment. There is the immediacy of embodiment. 


You Are The Knowing

You want to come into what you truly are, then care for yourself by loving what you know deeper. And when the self undoes, which it will, love the way in which it undoes. Understand your self. It is not You. You are the Knowing.



As we awaken deeper, all the emptying out of the old way enables the deep way to manifest as a movement of Love. That is integration. So that the smallest thing that you are doing is moved by a profounder place in Being. Whatever you are doing begins to be a movement that is from the deep. A real power that truly does serve all beings.


Day 12

"What one is, is the experience of aware Knowing. Awareness Knowing never disappears, it is the ground of all things." 

 "Belong to the deeper Knowing, the fascination of what you truly are and your surface life
becomes the living embodiment of that." 

"Security disconnects you Awareness from the deeper realising and the deeper forming of What You Are."  

"Being fascinated by what is just a little deeper than your old way awakens the profoundly Real in you."  

"Awareness knowing it knows is That that All arises in."

"You don't just see 'people' walking the streets. They are realisers realising. Everyone is growing in Self-realisation and actuation." 

"Open until you see, open until there are no more blinds, open until there are no more shutters down. Open."

"In the deep, the small is big. Up here the big is actually small, but in the deep, the small is the big. All This is coming out of a mustard seed."  

"In being true to your unconditional nature, conditions change.”


Fascination Of A Deeper Calling

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When the fascination of the deeper Calling within really is what you belong to, you begin to understand the unwinding of the self-centre, mentally emotionally , socially psychologically and in many other ways it begins to reveal. You can develop a keenness of Seeing and Knowing, so that you are so keenly fascinated with the deeper realising, you're no longer fooled by an old way calling you to remember it in thought and most definitely in feeling. 


A Little Deeper Than Your Old Way

Even this 'I-thought' is prior to the body. This 'I Am-thought' is what the body is made of but never does the I Am become a body. It is the entire cosmos That is the body. There is so much more to what one is but how to discover this alchemy up on the surface? Being fascinated by a little deeper than your old way awakens the profoundly Real in you.

There is a sweet, sweet pull to what is profoundly Real in you. Whilst one has a body that level streams up to the surface. Alchemy then is daily life and everything that comes, no matter how it looks to the mind, is all alchemy, is all transformation. Transformation doesn't mean anything needs to 'happen', it simply means the Awareness that once thought it was a body-mind is now fascinated with the greater depth of what is available to it. It is realising What It is. That streams  up a new body mind, it changes it. Then the Seeing and Knowing begins to be so immeasurably deep that life on the seeming surface begins to match the Knowing. It becomes a living Knowing formed. Such a body, such a form you don't leave it behind because  it is the body of realisation.

Your body, this body is made of what you are fascinating with and where you are living from. Your body is made of that. So there is no death. The growing is deepening and deepening in the fascination. Streams and streams of that realising change the body and the perception of embodiment. You come upon the crazy notion:"My God, not only do I not die, I am not born!"  All that was being birthed was the idea of a 'someone', all that is dying is the idea 'I am a someone' - what I Am is ever-present Life !

That fascination begins to shine in the heart and the mind. The mind is no longer dull. You are no longer fascinated with any thought, emotion or any imprint that moves along. You look at them, they evaporate. Not because they must, it is just because you are not fascinated by them anymore. A little bit of fascination of thought or feeling and you must have it because you are destined to know whatever comes from You and If you are fascinated with the idea that you're a body-mind, you must have it because you're fascinated with it. And if you're fascinated with difficulty and fascinated with separateness, you must have it for you want to know your self,  thoroughly.

But if you are fascinated with what you deeply first Are, then instead of your light, your Knowing, going out to find any solution for any thing, it is IN and the inner light opens up your mystery and it is tangible. Your mystery opens when you give up the idea that you are a body-mind and then your body mind has the kind of vitality that is not causal or affected.  On retreat or not, I call you into that fascination, letting go of the fascination with the self.  Be fascinated with where that comes from! 


Let Go

Let go of taking turmoil personally. You were taught to have a peaceful life. There is no such thing. You are the quietness, you are the peace . You don't need to search for it. That's bogus. Just keep seeing that All is happening in What You Are. 


Know What Is Taking Place

You know what is taking place, you are awakening to the deep and that is opening the subconscious, releasing patterning. Know what is taking place. What is taking place in the deep is not a process, what is taking place on the surface seems to be a process but no one is in process, no one is doing process. It is just alchemy at work realising realisers realising.


Profound Relating As A Constant Living Loving Movement

When we get clear about "What really am I? ", when we are getting clear about this, that we don't actually have a beginning and end, then what is there to fear? Then the body has become open, the heart has become open, the mind has become open, the life becomes open and although much more happens when one is open, because when you're really open, you who is aware, so much more possibility streams and then so much more of the subconscious is available to be integrated by such a one. 

What I am pointing to is: there is no one here, but that One who is aware and knowing. Not pushing away what I am calling here the subconscious, deeper doors of possibility open and instead of having contained relationships we are profound relating as a constant breathing, living, loving movement that has entrance into profound realisation and profound form, moving, dancing, living, loving.

Deeper embodiment is when the heart is fully opened in this moment to a greater knowing of What Is. When one is relating in this moment, to each other and to this moment of life, then instead of having recall through memory we're called to Being. 


When We Need Comfort

When we need comfort we create stories to cover our heart and our pain of not being able to meet the subconscious, in the belief that the subconscious has something to do with what we are. But really it is just moved by the greater movement of the unfolding of one's true nature. Like a stone can be carved into a great sculpture or material can be turned into a garment, you are working this out.  This is your life, working out what I actually am - this 'I' and awakening to my deeper Knowing and Meaning. No longer making stories about it as I move What I Am up into a self that has conditioning it,  as it should, because if it was fixed I wouldn't know my eternal nature. Because I just realise more and more of What I Am. The form here is to take the form of What I Am. This is why everything is in change - but I am Not.


All Is Made Of What You Are

As you awaken you realise that all this movement has nothing to do with anything that is personal. Somehow it is returning you to You, to realise What You Are, not as someone here, but everyone is That realising Itself, on this level in form but deeper in light. It is all made of light and that is the light of Awareness. 

On this level there is the tendency, until a greater knowledge is touched upon or opened to, that we feel shame or guilty or blame or blaming but that is still a play of this greater movement of Self-realisation. One can't extract oneself from this play as it were, other than realise this play is made of you and then why would you want to extract yourself from it?  Then you realise actually you are not of it .Then as Awareness you have entrance to a deeper realm of your own Being that you are realising . 

For the light that streamed from You-Awareness is the Self that you are seeking . You want to know every level of your self. So you are moving in all the levels of your self, knowing your self. That is Self-fulfillment, Self-enlightenment. That is realising the Self. You are not 'someone', you are Awareness, which is the Absolute from which light came forth so that Awareness could know it is aware and Knowing could be aware of knowing. That is the light of Awareness. 

So all the ideas that anyone is guilty begin to fall away from you. At some point you begin to realise no one is to blame, no-one is guilty, you realise that What You Are has no opposites. All is made of What You Are. That really begins to calm and rest down in the depth and you realise you are the depth. Then your Seeing and Knowing is not made of a 'someone' with objects and goals and orientation of having or getting or getting rid of. You are What Is. You are not at peace. You are Peace.  You are not in Love, you are Love, you are not telling the truth. You are the Truth. This becomes clear to you. 


No One Goes Through The Eye Of A Needle

Q: When I hear you and what you are pointing to, I know you are coming from having been through the eye of the needle. I want to get to that point...

No one goes through the eye of a needle. No one. Awareness identified with form and gathering conceptual forms of identity, when it is over the belief that form can give it anything as a separate sense, looks back from whence it came into the light of its Knowing. The light of its knowing is not distance, it is Now. But in the beyond known forms, thought-forms cannot pass through into the thoughtless. So even the 'I-thought' has to dissolve and the thought that 'I have things' has to dissolve. 

If you look at just your life you will see how much your belief tree has been shaken from holding patterns of separation and that has enabled you to know yourself more sweetly and dearly and know others more sweetly and dearly and behold the dilemma of apparent humanness. So then what one is passing through as the eye of the needle is simply going into the Unknown.  The Unknown is simply what one is, unknown.  So you are passing through that and it is in daily life. 

Often, particularly when one is awakening, what is sparked in one is a deeper Knowing than your usual thought-sense and your usual action and something deeper captures your heart. Instead of just reacting and holding onto the known, something takes place that is so real or surreal and you respond to the Knowing although it is unknown. You just know to respond to it. It doesn't have sense-form but you know it is calling and it is the deeper level of You calling, the Unknown level of You, the formless level of You. That is through the 'I', just 'I' with no 'am' on it. So you are passing through and in daily life this is what is taking place. 

Somehow your tree is being shaken or you are simply dismissing, not using thought- forms, emotional forms, old ways. You are letting them go, you are awakening to greater Reality - formless. But all this is made of the formless, for You are the formless just misidentified with form through thought, feeling and belief. It is conditional but You are the unconditional and in being true to your unconditional nature, conditions change. As they do for you are the key to change all conditions, not because you need to change them, just that when you are true to the other side of your heart, your Being,  then this side changes. It is not a change of thought, it is a change of allegiance to a deeper place of Being or moving. You are being true to the unspeakable that calls you but You are the unspeakable that is calling you. 

Day 13

“When you’re in pain, you’re meditating that density from the intensity of your Being.”

"What's really common in an uncommon way is: everyone is eternal."

"The body is as much a cosmic body as the cosmos is itself." 

"If you have realised the Self, you have access into the Great, into the Absolute but it Is You."

"Every star you see in the sky is a perfect match for every cell and neuron in your mind and body.
It's a star alignment. Your body is a sleeping giant, your mind is a sleeping genius and your heart is a sleeping star."  


A Walking Abyss

Q: I have been watching myself heading towards an abyss within and what arises in me is terror and I watch myself trying to identify with something to get out of that terror..

B: The abyss is quite simply the unknown and the self is quite simply the known and You are both. It's all made of You. The known level of self cannot go into the unknown level of You. It's not your self heading towards the abyss, it's You. You do the same every single night, you move from something to no thing. You are doing it now but during the day can you not see it? That is all that's happening. 

There is one teaching,'The Course in Miracles' where they call what I am talking about the 'holy instant'.It's a holy instant , which means in this moment Now, this instant is whole, it is not in parts. It is wholly what Awareness is, whether it is in the experience of form or in the experience of nothing, the experience is Awareness knowing it knows. Wherever it is, for all eternity. 

So it's You in the level of self moving to manifest your self from your unknown quality of Being. Right there is where you stop and you have fear. You are only fearing you. Keep seeing during the day that you are moving from the known into the deeper levels of You, to your self unknown but to You: 'Knowing'. 

During the day you move from a self that is known, because that's the way that you have made it until you're in it cleanly, which means each day you wake up new, each moment you wake up new, each conversation you are new in it, you're not yesterday's conversation. You are what you're realising in the abyss, the deeper You. You are realising it Now and it is coming up and having form. So every day you are the abyss walking and there are moments when you don't realise you are in the Deep, in the abyss - there is no self.  

You might just be enjoying what appears to you your mind to be Truth but you are in the bliss of this level of You. You just don't realise that you are right then the abyss being the serenity. You might still observe the trees, but the observation or the Knowing of the tree is made of the bliss you are, made of the abyss you are. For you in that moment, sitting on that hill there is no separation between the unknown and Now. No separation until your self  gets involved, that you think about your self, that your self names the hill, names the tree ,names the experience as good, bad, hot or cold. You are a walking abyss, a freedom. That is 'What You Are'.  There are moments when you identify some fragment and that's where your fear is. 


The Very First Room

Here we are all assembled but did you know this is not assembly room? This is a dissembling room. Here there is nothing but dissembling going on. Not disabling , enabling ids happen through dissembling. Enabling through dissembling. Welcome to the dissembling room. With room of your do you notice that dissembles you and which rooms of yours are not dissembling rooms but enabling rooms? Have a look..

It looks like we're all gathered in this room but this room has no walls, has no ceilings has no floors. Pure Awareness, no room.  Rooms kind of happen when light comes from nowhere and it is only in the room that Awareness knows it is knowing it is aware.  

From Knowing many other rooms come into being and then into manifestation, but Awareness is able to move into all the rooms, knowingly aware and it doesn't need any of them. 

I am very clear we're all the same One, very clear that that we are the very first room. That's how we are able to know, that first room being The Self, Pure Knowing, but then there are many rooms, unchangeable rooms and changing rooms but they're all known by Awareness who is without beginning or end and is the Absolute, is the one that is listening to these words now.

In ordinary everyday life Awareness can know whether it's in a changing room or whether it's coming from a room where there is no change in this changing room and  somehow this room of changing re-forms from the non-changing room or deeper reality. It just happens. And all the rooms are filled with that that never happens and that is the one listening to these words now. 

Up in this changing room it is ridiculous trying to stop the changes. They are going to constantly happen. What is even more ridiculous is identifying with this changing room but if you look there is one who is knowing all the rooms and that one doesn't change. 

In existence the changing room is perceived and known by Knowing itself that does not change. It's fruitless and pointless to hang onto that that keeps changing, this changing room of humanness. But nonetheless this room is made out of that that doesn't change and that that doesn't change is not only the maker of this room, the designer of this room and the dissolver of this room and you can come right the way in and realise You Are the changeless or the light of Awareness. 



Satsang is communion as Truth - not two. Often what we do is we relate to the horizontal. Truth is vertical, then it appears on the horizontal. If you have a look on the horizontal you will see where you have sown seeds of Truth or greater seeds of Reality. You have sown them, you who is aware. But many other seeds are sown in there too, seeds of wanting, seeds of needing, seeds of expectation. You could call them 'world seeds', they're distracting. But it is the seeds of Reality that are calling you. If you see then, what happens in satsang is that all those seeds, regardless of whether they are distracting or not, false or real, they are all brought Here, because Here nothing matters to Truth. 

Then in your life you see that something is changed within the appearance of the horizontal, just by being deeply true. You don't need it to be different. It just changes to match what you're coming into - which is Nothing. All answers are found in our heart only. 


True Enquiry

Q: Can you speak about true enquiry? I always thought that enquiry on some level uses thought...

We're moving as aware Seeing and Knowing, we're not using any faculty of the body- mind self or person, We are direct Awareness seeing and knowing. The kind of Seeing and Knowing that still remains when you're in deep dreamless sleep and that will remain when the body drops away. When everything is taken away - Pure Seeing, Pure Knowing,  the sweetness is present and it is You. 

True enquiry is dropping away enquiring with a movement of mind, with a movement of a sense of self through emotion, with all the movements of anything that belongs to the body-mind  You're enquiring directly with What You Are. You  suspend looking backwards in time or looking forward in hope. You look within and as you settle down in a more quieted space within then what arises is a deeper Knowing and a deeper Seeing that is really the sweetness of our Being.BIt might not yet appear sweet , but it is the sweetness of our being. We're meeting our Being and remembering that our Being is the radiance of our Self. Enquiry is first off with your heart and then deeper. You are listening to what the heart picks up from the unseen. You're not interested then in sense-perception but then you will be able to perceive deeper than sense-perception. Your inner perception will turn around and turn into sense-perception like it does when you wake up in the morning. 

 You can enquire with multi-dimensional Awareness splitting ...You have the ability to have split awareness, awareness of self and person, awareness of the world, of activity outside and then deepening awareness in unseen realms of Knowing. Basically You are the only 'I' in any level. 

In that manner your enquiry is bypassing your sense of self and reaching into the deep of You.  You have been prepared for that moment! It doesn't just take you to passionately want to know deeper, yet yes you have to have a sense of true enquiry, true investigation. But for you to even look within in that manner, means your life has been emptying you out in some way or other through circumstances.  It has been detaching you from believing you are a someone.  So when you look in, that is your light, and rather than going into thought and feeling it is going out into present Awareness Knowing. You begin to pick up a deeper Knowing and it resonates in your Awareness. 

As you deepen into that enquiry you can actually enter it. You are able to be 'entered in this' and turn around and  'enter the More than this' and whilst you have a form on this level, this enter that you come into is able to flow up to this level and they become one. More and more you don't use the human intellect, thought or feeling or any newscast to move by. It now all belongs to this deeper Knowing and the enquiry continues until you become more and more stabilised in the Inner, rather than moving from what you believe is outside. 

So enquiry is with your heart first off - through your Awareness in your heart. Your heart begins to receive the deeper levels and then you flow the deeper levels through the radiance of your heart.  Here you bring it up into the formed level and your form is made different. Until this body can be completely opened in any one moment and your Being has entrance to pour into this level, filling you up and you're knowing the sweetness of Pure Being.  



Day 14 -  Final Session

 Let's enjoy this discovery of what could be the end of this retreat but it's always the beginning of discovery.  


"It's quite something to have no relationship whatsoever with your mind."

"Knowing Awareness or Awareness Knowing is the very spaciousness or space in which all objective appearance appears."

"Space or emptiness defines it's forms. Its forms do not define the emptiness."

"Mind thinks objects define 'What Is' but it is space that defines What Is and manifests 'What Is'."


Relationship and Relating

It's quite something to no relationship whatsoever with your mind. It's quite something to have no relationship with emotion.It's even more extraordinary to have no relationship with what appears to be in this space called Awareness.  No thoughtful relationship that is, or no emotional relationship. The mind sees it as 'cold', not to have a relationship with thought or feeling but actually it's warm. 

We value thought and feeling because that puts our relatedness in a relationship to ourselves. But in truth there is no relationship that will ever work. Relationships are solid blocks.  Relating is only in the moment.  Relation-ship is dependent on past, future thought and feeling determined by a relationship to someone that doesn't actually exist.


Your First Relationship

Here we are sitting in this room...Please be so clear as to your first relationship. Your first relationship is to the belief you are somebody, sitting next to another somebody.  See how powerful that is. It is extremely powerful, so powerful that it makes it real. But it's not real. It is a level of reality but it is reality coming together at a  point of circumference, a point of Knowing that can speak to an apparent other point of Knowing and these two points point to One place where the Real Relating begins and the Real Relating ends and continues to begin and end. It is that beginning and ending that is the pulse in your wrist or the pulse in a star or the impulse to ever be together. 

So  once again just to affirm this in your own consciousness, your own awareness, your first relationship, until you have seen deeper or transcended, is to your use of thought and feeling to define what you are. Thought and feeling  is not the first that defines what you are, it is the last of what defines you on this plane. What first defines What You Are is that you are aware and you are knowingly aware. That's your first definition of What You Are.

Now, if you really see this,  that your first definition of What You Are is that you are aware and you are  knowingly aware, something really begins to take place. Obviously you need to be  knowingly aware to even know What Is.Knowing Awareness or Awareness Knowing is the very spaciousness or space in which all objective appearance appears. Even this level of body-mind is an appearance in this space. 


You Have Defined 'What You Are' In Limitation

What is the relationship between your body and any other body, whether it be a wall, a floor or another body?  What is the relationship between what you appear to be there right now and any other objects? What is your relationship?  If your first relationship is the object of the body or of another body, a thought or another thought, of a feeling or another feeling you have defined your self in limitation. You have defined 'What You Are' in limitation. So you are already moving as a limited sense of Knowing Awareness, limited to a form in a space that is already defining the universe, for the universe is defined in a space. You couldn't know a star, you couldn't know a planet,  you couldn't know a body, couldn't know another, you couldn't know a flower, a wall, a floor, you couldn't know a ceiling.  Space or emptiness defines it's forms. Its forms do not define the emptiness. 

The objects in this room do not define the space. We can remove all the objects, but the space is always that that remains. It is not the object that is defining this room, it is the space defining the object. take everything out of this room, it is an empty room and the room is empty, there is no definition - Pure Awareness. Put an object in the room, the object, the colour, the picture on the wall, the person in it,  you, the furniture,  we're used to defining what we are trough objects! Our art, our technique, our medicine, our this, our that.  We are used to defining what we are  through objects or objectives. But it is the space that defines What Is and the objects that appear in it for they are made of the space and it is the space that manifests the objects. All objects come from the space and return to the space, come from the void and return to the void, come from the vacuum and return to the vacuum. 



Your relationship is not with your body-mind, your relationship is with that in which your body stands: space. And within the space of your body and let's say the space of a wall and the space of another and the space between a thought or the space between a feeling is YOU.


Creative Source And Power

Within this vacuum, or this Nobody-ness, is ultimate power, ultimate Knowing purely aware. This simply means that the one who is listening to these words now is their own creative source and power, creating and dissolving whilst redefining What It Is because there is no beginning or end to the one who is listening to these words now. 

Real Experience

A some point we may discover that being present aware in Knowing, in other words, I am Awareness Knowing it knows it is aware - that's Real Experience. Relating to that is not a relationship it is Now.  Relating to that ultimate power as it were, is once again within our hands. That means as Nothing, ultimate power is moving, manifesting, undoing and remaking . That's what is happening in the cells of your body, that's what 's happening in the cells of the universe, that's what 's happening in the cells of the cosmos. The Self is redefining its self because it has no beginning and its relating is to Awareness, that is Ultimate or the Absolute. 

That means then that even doing The Form, or moving down the street, in this emptiness or even in the black of the sky you are pulling ultimate energy as a Beingness to manifest your relationship with Knowing Aware and it is manifesting in your daily life.