Awakening Gems - Tuscany Retreat

A day by day collection of pieces, pointers and awakening gems from the 2017 Tuscany Retreat sessions. 

Day 1

You Will Hear My Call From Within
We may never leave this place alive!  We will definitely leave this place changed and not only this place will change but we will change, simply by way of remembering who we are.  Nothing is planned, nothing is written down, nothing is thought about. All this will just unfold. It is the Truth of what we are as Pure Awareness.

Where I come from, all phenomenal form arises in what I already am. All phenomenal form resolves in what I am. I have no need to touch it. If I touch it as a believed ‘someone’ I add time to the form, whereas all forms really are in timeless Awareness and all form truly is pure form, Now. 

I don't ask you to believe or understand any of what I have just said. I just ask you to come and enjoy Being together. But I will call you and you will hear me call from within. You might look twice, “Did he call me there? How is he in here? Is he 'there' or here? Or is the one who is speaking, the one who is listening, the one who is hearing the same One?”

Love Pouring - The Eyes of a Newborn
What we're about to look at is the basis and ground of the entire life of the living universe. Certainly this will be the ground of everything we could ever possibly share together on this retreat. Very simple… 

We are going to return to being babies! Is there anyone who has never seen a newborn child? Ok, everyone has seen a newborn child…

We look at a newborn and our mind, our conditioning tells us, ‘That's a child’, but when you look into the eyes of a child, do you actually see a child or do you see The Deep? And as you look into the Deep it is pure ‘Nothing–Aware’, pure emptiness or pure Being. 

The mind is convinced that's a baby, but what you love as you look into a newborn’s eyes is that you are knowing where you come from. You are looking into your own unborn state and It is looking back at you. This is Love Pouring.

Although we believe conditioning when we look at a baby, if we go just a little bit deeper you discover other than a child, it 's a Being. But are you looking into one Being or are you looking into a whole realm of Pure Awareness, looking back, a realm of Pure Awareness with countless nameless beings pouring out? You Are That – you are the outpouring. 

You look into the child's eyes and the light you see is light pouring out of deep, black, pure, endless, Awareness. It is so thrilling, not because it is a baby, but because it's ‘You’. Pure. Pure You. You could call it God or Pure Awareness. What enthralls you so is that you remember and apprehend 'What You Are' and how You came into this form. But did you? Did you come into this form or are you unborn? Not a form, unformed and although you are pouring out into existence, phenomenal form is what is dancing in your own pure Awareness. 

There is a whole realm of deep Beingness pouring out. It might look like ‘one Being’ but that one Being is made up by a whole movement of a deeper formless realm. In a very similar way, humans don’t not realise this maybe, the entire conditional realm is influencing each apparent individual. Therefore how can we say that our thoughts, our feelings and even our sensations are our own? What I am pointing to is: only the Deep is moving, only the Deep is knowing, only the Deep is seeing and only the Deep is becoming. This is Love's outpouring. 

A baby knows no form, knows no other, knows no thing. A baby has no experience. If it could speak it could only say: “I Am. I am Pure Awareness knowing I am aware.” The baby that you see is not what the baby knows. It's a Being, it doesn't know form, doesn’t differentiate Consciousness and its forms. It doesn't know it has ‘a hand’ that it moves. The baby moves but it has no hand. It is told that it has a hand later.

If you close your eyes and just move your hand, is there really a hand moving or is it Being moving? What is first the Being or the form? Isn't it Being moving and as Being moves it forms? Being moves, form appears. A child doesn't touch ‘a table’, it is moving in its own true formlessness. Why it goes: “Aaaahhhhhh!” and smiles is that on the existent realm it forms! Its movement on this realm is forming! If the baby could speak it would go: My God! How did I do that?! It has no relationship with formal form. Its total joy is the magicalness of the movement of its Being, the utter enjoyment of what it already is, non-dual, no subject, no object, just the pouring of its own Being, which is Love. 

The innocence of the child is Beingness - so pure! Later it discovers that its movement is forming - it investigates this forming. First it doesn't find any separation-it is taught that. It is taught separation. The first form of separation, the first duality is the child's name. Let’s call it: ‘Sonia’… Sonia! Sonia? Sonia, Sonia! If you look at this, your name is the constant programming that you are a ‘someone’. But you are so enjoying being no one!! The name is the first pattern of duality but there is a miracle spinning as well. Did you not know that you're spinning your forms of experience now? 

Your name is the first duality but also the first highest possibility to individuate but not separate. Nothing-Aware. That's What You Are; no-thing, 'Nothing-Aware.' The name is a singular possibility of 'Nothing-aware', a point in which Awareness can become creative..

The baby is not a someone, it is not a something. It is Pure No-Thing-Awareness, there are many names for that: The Self, Pure Awareness, God, Love…and the movement of that child is the movement of Pure Being with no beginning and end. You have, we have, no beginning and end. 

That first outpouring is a dimension within the Self, outpouring into an apparent human life. When a parent is teaching a child to take the first step for instance, they may believe that it is about a physical step, about ‘how to walk as a human being’, but to the Beingness of the child that is not a step, let's say in the living room, that’s its first step as Beingness into the entire human psyche and even much bigger than that. It is the first universal step of a Being into the Universe.  That's how big it is. 

I am only speaking of Love and Goodness and the purpose behind all this is Self to realise Self, Love to realise it's Love and Awareness to be All that it can be aware in.

Let's spend the entire retreat recognising the Door, which is our heart, to the The Deep.

 

Day 2

Nothing-Aware Remains
Are you sure that you are aware? Is it not true that 'Nothing-Aware' remains? No matter how your person moves, how a sense of self functions... wherever, whoever? Nothing Aware remains the ground of all experience.  Look Now, it's still deep. It's not dependent on a sense of self or person. It's not dependent on the weather, not dependent on human bodies or bodies of the Universe. All may pass away but Nothing-Aware remains. When you become opened all is silent Goodness .

Look at our analogy of the baby: 
Its silence is unborn. Even its Love is unborn although it can move up and express in existence. And as unborn silence moves, the cosmos is immediately formed and moving. That's why sometimes in our experience of waking up in the morning or going to sleep at night, the sounds of nature or others are nothing but fading silhouettes. Friends we say goodbye to, as we move home.  

Silent Roots in Your Inner Garden
Notice how your inner garden is already changing. Silent roots of deeper dimensions opening.These are pointers. Your ability as Awareness to see and know these silent roots growing is your growing ability to respond to pure knowing on the level of humanness. So when awakened Awareness opening in a human body has gone through a series of self-emptying , which begins to match the finer garden within, then Awareness responding to Knowing moves a different life. When as Awareness responding to Knowing moves, deeper realms open within and opportunities arrive without. This is Non -Duality. The Unseen and the Seen is made of the same stuff, known by the Only One. 

So in a very practical way, let's call it the surface life is moved by the deeper Knowing. Opportunities that appear to come from this world or from form, are actually the movement of Beyond. This world does not make Itself. That is an illusion. This world is made of Pure Consciousness. Conditional, but its ground is Pure - that a movement of any world is Nothing-Aware moving by Knowing. Not by thoughts, not by feelings. Thoughts and feelings are the interpretation of experience. When deeper levels move up to the surface Awareness, having human form, that deeper movement up to the form opens the perception and pure sensation is the movement in a vast space of Nothingness. Goodness fills the heart, filling up the body- mind. No interpretation.  Nothing Aware fulfilled by Knowing.  The Self that came out of the Absolute Awareness is what Awareness is looking for; Itself. 

One Drop of Your Essence
Somewhere you'll be mixed up as to what Life is. Life is not this little life of sense objects and this subject called 'me'. That's a puddle. Life is an Ocean. When we drop into deep dreamless sleep, that is Life.  Look at your life, the concepts you hold about 'Who I Am'. Look to see how you move in like and dislike and not Pure Knowing. Let go of these dualities of like and dislike. Not easy, because this world is an enormous pressure of likes and dislikes. But if you got just one drop of your Essence and drop it into the world, the whole world will change. That's how vast What You Are is. 

This is Satsang
B speaks about a movie about Jesus

Then at the end Jesus says to the disciples: "I have now prepared the place for you to come. Find me within you." 

This is Satsang! If the being really has realised The Self, then the way is being made. No one's doing it. It's just he Truth of The Self realising itself.

Satsang is you being Nothing-Aware, moving by Knowing. Responding to Knowing, not listen to the noise of the self, the person or the world. That's your movement. Clearly you know you are not the body-mind, then why function as if you are one. Awaken to deeper functionality. The deeper realms of your own brightness have function but entirely different than sense perception. This is why you can't get there from here. You discover, I  have always been Here never there! I am the way. I am the door. I am this One. 

This what you begin to remember as formed ideas shed from your psyche and structures of egoity fall away from your perception. Move the deeper Knowing. Your sense of self and person will also move and you will be experiencing the patterning of that level coming home.  Amongst the changes that take place you remain Nothing-Aware responding to Knowing moving.   So open that as Awareness you can read the levels of self and person, your self and person, and the deeper invitations of realising that are taking place in the inner. You are the One that is moving through those levels. Moving as Nothing-Aware knowing through those levels is Oneness moving. You are uniting all those innermost levels all the way out. This is Satsang.

Have you ever seen a river from high up in an airplane?  You see the river and and many other streams joining the river. That's Oneness moving. The river moving through all the levels of the land and each stream being made into one movement within the river. In the same way all your levels are united by your movement to being Truth.  It doesn't have to feel good, it IS the Good moving. 

The Only Answer - Through the Door of the Heart and Beyond.
The earth can't answer itself. Humanness can't answer itself. The world cannot answer itself. It keeps itself the same by answering itself. Within satsang we discover the answer is already What I Am. As we are sharing together, watch how Awareness still seeks answer through familiarity, through the familiar sense of self, person and other. There are no answers there. These are all dualities. They are themselves instruments arising in Awareness. They have no power of their own. 

Return to your heart, the Heart that doesn't belong to the sense of person, self or other. The Heart is where Awareness unmistakably realises its Self that is streaming.

Unawakened Awareness appearing in human form, mainly struggles with the circumstances and difficulties of life. It has not yet realised that it is its own answer. Awareness knowing it knows is the answer, Self-realisation. 

Clearly, what is being spoken here will be be filtered through the dualities of this realm, but I speak to you direct, no filter. A way of Being that is instant, pure, immediate.  

When Nothing-Aware returns to Knowing in human form, when Nothing-Aware discovers its pure Knowing at the level of the heart, it opens the door to self-realisation and revelation

Without Awareness relating to the Heart in human form, the deeper unseen levels have no way into human form. You must return to being the Heart. Then as the Heart it answers life - outpouring and returning are the same movement. 

Although that opening seems to take time it is immediate on the level of the Heart and deeper. But as that Knowing enters the stream of body-mind experience, the information given on the human level will be very much the same. Walk amongst those dualities being non-dual. Singularly inspired by The Self. Feel it . It is Here Now. Then you walk amongst the world and are not of it. You certainly don't judge it. Compassion takes place for the difficulties of those that are awakening in this realm. But then you laugh and you also may cry and you laugh, because this is all a game - there is only God everywhere. 

Difficult to hear right ? Especially when there is suffering or pain. When the body drops away you will know this. How deeply you will be able to move in the Knowing, in many ways is determined by how you open in the Beyond whilst having form. Form gives you instant reflection of what you are being and how you are moving. Whatever frequency that is always forms.

We are returning to our Heart and becoming stabilised in the Heart and deeper. There are no answers to this conditionality from this conditionality.  The One who is listening to these words now  IS the answer. As you realise this and respond to this, you will shed all the shields you have placed over your heart and experience.  You stop. You look and see into the Knowing and the Knowing welcomes you Home,  the Knowing answers the forming of moving Life and Love. Your person, your self evolves and you awaken to the Deep and are able to move as the Deep in the person and the self. The body is remade and re-encoded from this awakening. 

This is my way. I am not one who says:"Oneness that's it. All is God, get on with it." No, the realisation here is, the One who is listening is the Absolute. There is nothing but God or the Self in varied experiences of Consciousness. The Self is, by doing nothing, evolving everything. The One who is listening, including the speaker, is That.
I teach transcendence and manifesting that. There is Nothing-Aware responding to Knowing. There is no 'doing' in that, no 'someone' in that.  Awareness-Knowing moving creates the Cosmos - The Self is awakening to Itself on a level of reality and it is 'I' . 

A Disturbing Force of Love
On the level of the experience of the body-mind integration that takes place as Awareness stays true to Knowing in human form.  One man said: "Your mother will hate you, your father will hate you, your brothers and sisters will hate you if you come unto me." This simply means: Awareness awakening to Itself in the realm of conditionality, discovering Pure Meaning is its movement, displaces this conditional realm. Then people no longer recognise each other but they begin to recognise what they are at Source. All your relationships are being displaced by you awakening as Awareness. Nobody can relate in the usual way. They have no basis to continue that way of relating, through you awakening.  You are a disturbing force of Love!

As you awaken to your awakening in the Heart, you are the way. You are the way. Walk amongst all this undoing, naked, open and receiving. Meeting Being to Being, Heart to Heart, despite the fire and the burning. Then what you will do is the burning of the patterning. It will be the fuel of your awakening and the awakening of those available to realise in your company. 

You be the meeting place or fully accept you are returning to the Source as your Self. Then you invite in each meeting, Being to Being, the undoing of patterning of separation. That energy returns to your heart and you welcome it home. As the pattern returns and you are open it moves into a new form of deeper Knowing. It's transformed into transcendental Presence and Awareness for the table is made of God, the murderer is made of God, pain is made of God, All is made of God. 

All Is Welcome!
All is welcome in this house of Love. Discover what that really means. You are without beginning and end. Take the opportunity in this life to discover the Love of That that you truly are. 

Familiarity?  Well you begin to have clarity about your familiarity! A situation might come where your lover is screaming at you or your friend or your family and you go: "Good friend, I see you again. Welcome, you and I have been friends since the beginning of time!" Rumi and Hafiz have poems like this... 

It seems to be someone over there doing this but it is the pattern of the universe longing to meet its God or its Good. You are meeting it.  It's not someone doing something to you but it is the patterns of the universe longing to meet its Source. Welcome it, now fully open: "Welcome, you are not my enemy. You are my long lost Love! Welcome. You did not betray me, I betrayed me by not knowing who I am. Welcome." 

Deep real inner resolution of the Divine, meeting humanness. You never did anything, you never caused anything. You were never separate, you were always Whole. Never were you anything else but The Self. Awareness surrenders to the sweetness of knowing it knows. Old levels dissolve. Awareness is unobscured from its own Love-Light.

Everything Moves Because of You
Everything in the universe, everything that grows, everything that moves, it is all moving  because of You. When I say you I mean you as Awareness. Nothing-Aware, knowingly aware of form in its own Awareness. The truth that you are knowingly aware calls the Deep to know You and You to know the Deep and that meeting moves the universe by the very truth that What You Are in the deepest place is Nothing-Aware knowing Knowing. 

You know you are aware. Maybe you are coming upon you are No-thing aware and knowing you're not an object and maybe even knowing you are Knowing - Aware Consciousness Itself. 

All phenomenal form is arising in Awareness-Knowing. Your body, the universe, all things. You are awakening in the phenomenal form in your own knowing Awareness.

The moment you move to understand this by the use of thought feeling or sense of self, you fall into identification with the forms. The moment You, 'Nothing-Aware knowing', cease using a familiar sense of self to know, Knowing comes easily. You begin to realise you are not using a sense of self to know you know. have you ever experienced deep dreamless sleep? We all have. That's because you are Aware Knowing. It is the continuum of your experience. It knows no beginning and no end . You are 'there' in deep dreamless sleep. You didn't need objects or a sense of self to tell you anything.

Maybe you have a touch of understanding of this and then it will seem to evaporate. That's because as yet you are not moving at the absolute speed of knowing Knowing. You relate to experience through a subject and an object, but in deep dreamless sleep there is no objective experience. You really are the Absolute, but you seem to think that you cannot move at the absolute speed of Knowing. But You are already knowing the Knowing of the Deep. That's why you sit in satsang and you have a calling to speak of Truth, Love or Life. You ARE knowing, knowing the Deep.  

Take Yourself Off The Cross
Q: My question is about this sense of a threat that I am experiencing about fully being What I Am...let's not forget that Christ ended on the cross.

B: Who told you that? Where did you get that information from? Were you there?

Q: Well, today I had this sensation of being right there on the cross. I was on the cross like Christ and saying: "Yes, I am scared and it is ok that I am scared in this situation.”  

B: I would ask you to ask the question: Who is scared? Who is it? Is that just another phenomenal experience? Is that more phenomenal movement? How deep do you want to go?

I am suggesting to What You Are: move from the knowing of your Being, giving up making stories of a sense of self, giving up translating sensation into feelings and thoughts. You will never know fear. This is what awakening is about, to dissolve all the distractions of the body-mind identification. 

Stepping back, stepping deep, stepping back, stepping deep through the porthole of the Heart. Seeing and knowing and moving as Awareness.

You know, I was nine years old, I was home alone and it was very dark. I was on my own in the living room and I remember experiencing a very unknown strange movement. It came from inside, it wasn't outside and the light coming through the window refracted. This is where it gets a bit crazy…In that moment lightning and thunder  happened. Suddenly there was fear in the body, but not in me, and Jesus walked through the window. Walked through the window and spoke without his lips moving and I fell with Him into a deep Love. All fear evaporated and I only knew this Being being me. 

This happened similarly when I was four. Four! I was having my tonsils removed and I remember my eldest sister came to see me in hospital. She brought me a tiny little book, which for me was big, and in it there were pictures of Jesus speaking to children and he moved and spoke to me on the page. He just said: "Go! Go to What This Is."  I woke up after the operation and the presence of the Being stayed in my heart. I had many other Beings coming to me as child. 

He was never on the cross. In the truest sense. He brought true relationship to the vertical and the horizontal. That cross is not a burden. It is magical mystical Love. Life is not a burden. It is the wildest opportunity to realise you are God.

More than anything I am suggesting, never listen to hand-me-down information. You don't know whether he died or not and if he was on the cross, did he survive it? Did his body transfigure or was his DNA ignited by the depth of his mystery? Did his whole body return into the mystery intact? Is this not the destiny you know of this planet called humanness?

Behold your Self. Discover You. Dive into the Deep and let that answer the moment of Life. Don't listen to anything that ever existed, ever. No past, no future, no history, no other. Only listen to the Deep in You.

You'll still be able to walk in the world: polar experiences of a separate sense of self , appearing in space and time. The brain doing its mystical job of dividing one whole reality into many parts of expression, the individuation of Consciousness and its movement of form.

Rather than listen to the conditionality, dive through the door of your Heart for your Being is deeper than your Heart and respond to the deep Knowing knowing. 

You might be afraid that you'll be outcast from your friends and your family and culture. But all that conditioning passes away. You do not. Be true to the deeper Knowing. Cease moving as if you belong to space and time. Space and time makes it possible to have three-dimensional form to express the uniqueness of one sense of self. 

You don't know whether he died. But if you want to put yourself on a cross, then there are plenty of nails around. One is:(speaks robotically) "I don't like. I don't like. This should be different. This should be different. How is this possible? How is this possible?"  

How many more nails do you want? 

You are abandoning this idea that you're a separate sensed self. Recognise when you wake in the morning the body becomes illumed. You're the one that makes all this possible and all the information in the body-mind is information since time seemed to have begun. What You Are is big enough to be in this but not of it . That is self-mastery and real Love. 

Take yourself off the cross! 

Do you need some hands? It is fine to have Love-hands.

Q: I really got the answer and this urgency was there because in these last months I really created some very real physical threats and I couldn't handle it anymore..

B:  This is something you can really understand and the understanding could be instant. What You Are as ‘non-physical’ becomes instantly physical. Everything become physical for What you Are, whilst you have a human body-form. The deepest level of realization, the Self, will become physical for you. Self- transformation and realization, physically taking place. 

That's the purpose of form, to make the Deep physical, formed. The embodiment of That that needs no body. The miracle. Wow! 

When your body drops away, you will see a light, several lights actually and you will recognise where I am speaking from. You'll go: "That's the door B pointed me to! " I will be there waiting. Come to this dimension of life! You will see many beings are heading to the lights that they were realising. They don't recognise each other. They only recognise the ones that were moving in the same door. A realised Being realises all Beings, all doors, all places lead to the One. That is your destiny right Now, whilst you have a body. I am encouraging you to go all the way in.

Reach into the Unknown. All the hands of familiarity will be pulling you back. You just kiss those hands. You leave them alone and continue moving into the Deep. When you die the place from which you have been functioning will welcome you Home. You are not human, this humanity is just one level of forming. Cease 'per-forming', let go of acting and be your Self. Ignore everything else. That doesn't mean you shut everything down. It means knowing clearly, “I am going Home.” Utterly open, you reach into the Deep because you are moving there Now. The level you are moving into then moves into this level of forming. That higher level grows this level.

This is still quite rare on this earth. We have become so distracted from what we are and we want tangible evidence. Well, here it is: deep dreamless sleep. You know you slept well, no form, no self, no other but you know.

Day 3

What Is First ?
The One who is reading the moment, the one that is reading the flower, reading the book , the face, the friendship, the hate and the despair, that One is Love.  And it is only ever reading its own Love that in existence appears so differently than what it actually is. 

What is first, when you close your eyes and gently lift your palms up? What is in this black? Are you knowing your hands or are you knowing deeper Knowing ? And as you move your hands, is that a movement of your hands or is that a movement of Knowing knowing? 

Does form follow your movement of Knowing or is Knowing following forms of experience?  See what is first.  Is the form of experience of body-mind first and 'What I Am' last? Am I putting what is last, first and what is first, last? 

The world you are in is upside down, the wrong way up. It puts form first and the Knowing of form last. Turn inside out. Knowing knowing is the first. It is the first, the middle and the end.

You are not looking into the Black, you ARE the absolute No-thing and how you know this is the light of Knowing that pours from your Absolute-ness. YOU are pouring this moment,  from the profound all the way to the surface. All is profound in your profundity of Presence.

Form follows the law of Love,  it forms what You, Awareness, are belonging to .

You Want Gold
Oh such packaging! You packaged those patterns very well! Some have red ribbons on, packages of red ribboned patterns, some are packaged with duct tape, some are quite greasy. It's funny how you put this stuff together.

Don't worry, none of it safe with me ! It's not safe with me.
It will definitely return to Nothing and I will give you it back changed. 

That's what we are doing, we are giving each other our selves changed. 

We don't look into each other's eyes to keep ourselves the same. We look into each other's eyes to be changed! We don't want to change, we look to BE changed, to see and know as the One. 

Be changed. Open. No need to have the pennies. You want gold. You want the gold of Soul to Soul, Being to Being Love to Love. Now, if as Being to Being you want to share your burden on the level of self, this is the best place to do it  First we know One,not Two. Then we can be One,Two,One Two, One,Two - a movement of Knowing, moving in Twoness which equals Oneness. 

You have to recognise there is a level of self and person you still want to keep. Why?
Shine your light of Knowing on it...

The Unifying Centre
What You Are is always the unifying centre of ALL experience. That's why it is so powerful, this illusional belief that you're a body-mind, because you have believed it so..Millions of patterns moving power and images, all held together in singularity - by YOU. It's very powerful, the power to separate that that is singular. 

You're trying to trust your sense of self? There is only one thing you can trust there: your power to unify all the movements of illusion. That's really powerful, because you are the ground of all experience. I Am is your very first experience. You can even say that in deep dreamless sleep. I Am aware.  You know, "I slept well", but really there was no object in your Awareness.
You are the ground.

Your Word
Listen to when you speak. What happens when you speak? Isn't each word the sound of the universe? Are you not knowing the Knowing as you speak? On this level of forming, your word is your prior state, forming. It is a very fine vibrational thing, but words show you what you are forming.

You will use less words as you go finer within, but you won't know if your word is your word is your bond until you speak it. Then you are able to know how meaningful you are in your word.

When you hear yourself speak you are also knowing how true to your word and how meaningfully you are moving. Are the vehicle of perception, person heart and body aligned with what you are saying? How far is the river of Meaning flowing all the way out? How far is it flowing?

Yes, we do get to a place of ‘no need to verbalise', but this can also be a wonderful escape route. You can use ‘not speaking' as a little escape. Awareness can still protect its forms and not truly know the state of the forms it is moving. 

When you speak, discover that your word shows you, Awareness, whether you are moving as Meaning. See, how the word is known in your body in your heart, in your system. Don't use your brain, use your body to know. Your word is your bond to You being Meaning.

The forms that you relate to that are not integrated in your Being, you will know the sound of those forms when you speak. And when you Awareness speak and you are moving as deeper Meaning, the forms in your life that are integrated in your heart of Being will sound different.

This is why we speak, so that we really know what we 'have' as Awareness and what we have as a separate sense of self. It gives us an instant measure, of the instant evolution of our forms and our Awareness in existence. If you don't speak, you can pretend those forms are all aligned. This mystery needs conversation. It needs engagement. 

This is why I encourage you to speak. Listen to what you say. Everything is a feedback. The entire universe is feeding back the Meaning of You and how What You Are is evolving the universe of your forming. 

I Am the word, I Am the movement of the word. I Am the sound of the word. I Am the forms of that word, I Am the way of the word AND I Am beyond the word. I Am the sound of the universe creating, dissolving and returning to the 'I' that I Am.

Listen to what you say. Otherwise you will just be ordinary and not get in touch with the extraordinary. Awake. Awake! 

Your House
How is your house?  Are you living in a meaningful place that vibes with your intention of true life? How many comfort-stories are you stacking in your bricks? How many comfort-stories are living in your arm chairs?  Do you walk into your house and it inspires your soul or does it inspire your small self? "Oh thank God, I am home! Oh this world is so...! Oh those people!  Oh thank God for you sofa, you understand I need rest."

Go into your living room with your heart, be in your heart in your living room. Understand, this is the living room. LIVING room! From your heart, what are you truly seeing and knowing in your living room? It can take you to the heart of your soul or to the little bit of comfort that you believe you need. Step into your living room, as a heart. See what you're building, does it match the deeper Meaning of You?  Then your living room is going to reveal the universe to you and your innermost, until the whole universe is your Living Room.

One Destination -  Self-Realisation
The entire cosmos and all beings in it, has one destination: Self-Realisation; the One who is in it, moving it and beyond it.  Everything that could possibly ever happen is engineered by that One. That is awakening. That is what you are as Nothing, No -thing Aware. Your ability as Awareness to be in any level of Consciousness that you are presented with, is the evolution of all your forms and the evolution of You as Awareness. 

You are Awareness and You have Knowing. Clearly, to have experience there must be Consciousness or life force, so for you to be consciously aware within experience, fully awake in that experience, as Awareness Itself, leads you to Self-Realisation.

In That Moment I Exist
Allow life to be your opportunity to completely open up. Then you discover that you are Openness. Pure Awareness, in which the Truth moves.

Imagine a completely black space, like when you close you eyes. Whilst you have a body-mind, you think you are looking as a 'someone' into that black space, but you are the totality of the endless Nothing.
The light by which you know yourself comes out of the black - a tiny little mustard seed...and it fills the perception. 

In that moment I exist. The Self is expressing the endlessness of Awareness. 

Day 4

A Singular Movement of The Deep
When a baby awakens in the morning, when that Being enters the realm of body-mind.It doesn't know it is doing that. It discovers that later, because at that stage it is not individuated Consciousness. It is All That Is. 

Let's imagine we are babies and we awake in the morning. We fill up the universe instantly. We don't open to a cot. We don't look for Mum and Dad. We don't have a separate home and a separate body. We pour into the universe as a totality, a singular movement of the Deep. No one is there. No one, just wholeness, wonder, fullness. 

The baby opens its eyes into the universe. It is not individuated. The outpouring is instant. In one teaching they call it the holy instant. There is no one here, only That One. 
 

When you awaken you are remembering how you fill up the space. You are taking down the walls, the fences, the doors, the burglar alarm. You are opening up. You will be in the experience of opening up to what you closed down to. 

Dismantling Polarity
When you come upon a like or dislike, you can open the like or dislike deeper than its opposites. When you open a like or dislike, which is basically polarity, it dismantles as a polarity. You are dismantling the polarity of your separate sense of self. Dismantling likes and dislikes you re-enter your singularity, your Heart. You begin to know and deepen in Being. 

See and know the subtleties opening. You are seeing and knowing as a Being. In this you experience your face changing, the nervous system changing, deeper levels of the body being changed by your singularity. Every sinew of the body is encoded with the Beingness. The deeper levels of the body respond to the being of Truth.The surface levels of the body are in change when you respond to being true.The Heart opens, the body opens and the Life is fulfilling. The deeper purpose of existence begin to shine. Self-Realisation and the movement of manifestation as its expression. 

As you Awareness re-enter the heart through the Being, all your sensory forms, psychic and energetic forms begin to move towards the "I" and come through you for transformation. Within this transformation Awareness discovers deeper levels and realms of its Being, which then begin to form. 

In this you, as a being are full of purpose and Meaning. It's not as it was when you were a separate sense of self. It has no want or need in it. You've returned to when you were a child, where opened loveliness is moving. You begin to move the Deep, landing it into form, through your heart. 

Your body, which is truly a hologram, held together on the surface with divine intention, begins to download higher realms of being and your body is in constant flow of the Deep, moving out into form. Form is in change to manifest the continuum of the deep revelation. This level is designed to change. You Awareness-Knowing are the one constant amongst this change. 

This is the Self revealing itself, knowing itself, loving itself , forming itself , dissolving itself - all returning home. Constant expression. Constant return.  Infinite. 
This Life is radiant Stillness.

Truth is Immediate
Once I was blind but now I see, now I see from a deeper level of me. A deeper level, you perceive deeper!  Perception is always in existence. You could perceive a star system two hundred billion light years away and yet the Knowing of the place light years away is the immediacy that You are It.

Light moves slowly, so slow! Truth is immediate - I Am That. 

You are awakening in quite a solid conditionality and this level of information tells you that it takes time to love, it takes time to realise, it takes time to do anything.  But it takes no time to love, no time to realise but to form that will take time. It is a gathering of lights and information moving to form and the movement of that universal energy is held together by your belonging, your belonging to the Deep.

You have no idea that You are putting all of this together and all your likes and dislikes are in your own hands. You're holding your life in your own hands.  You want to self realise or to realise Love, whilst your holding onto polarities, likes and dislikes.

You will have to let it all go for the deeper level to form what that looks like. At the moment, to bring that it takes time to form, but it takes no time for you to walk in the shadows of your past and be in the Presence of your realising Love Now. The shadows will just fade and new Life begins to sprout. The old leaves fall to the ground and are good manure for the new flowering. The emptying out of this realm of the identity with past experience is taking place! 

There IS a space not too far beyond this world where Consciousness travels far faster and forms far faster, were it takes no time to form what you already are.

What happens in satsang is not ordinariness. The lights go to a place where you are available and in that availability much moves, much undoes and then much is understood. You become un-blinded, you begin to clearly see and really open. You're a baby once again! Open, joyous, an outpouring - no longer a ‘someone’ but pure outpouring.

You will still be walking among the mixed conditioning of beings who don't know who they are. Here is a non-dual question for you: I am not asking you: "Do you know who You are? " No, this is a reverse question, "Do you know who they are? "

 I am endeavouring to show you how vast you are. Much of existence in this reality is a mirror of the deeper realities. Maybe you only read a sense of self, a sense of person, of ‘other’ and the world. But Awareness is That that pervades all that, is the ground of all that and makes all that possible.

The Point of Existence...
Nothing Aware reads ‘a chair’. Nothing aware reads ‘a door’. Ordinary things… Nothing Aware knows flowers - all this is being read by What You Are but it is also an appearance in What You Are. It is forming the moment of Eternal Awareness. 

Infinite Awareness, infinite conscious Awareness having immediate finite experience, moving in the mystery that I Am the totality of experience.

Nothing Aware knowing. It is the very ground of anything that could ever take place. Hence You are the continuum. You do not discontinue. Nothing is aware of the forms of this reality. Now read a little deeper, what does the flower mean for you? Is this a form of expression of a deeper flowering? Is the perfume the very essence of your Being? Is the non-sense turning into sense?

In every manner and way, it doesn't matter whether it's a thought, a feeling, a sensation or an event,  the Light of Meaning is shining. YOU are the streaming of this moment. 

Where do you stream from? Where do you come from?  You are traveling up the stream, which is forming the form. If you're only communing with the stream, then that is immediately the form.  Come a little way up the stream, what is forming now has a different relationship. Keep coming up the stream into an ever finer relatedness. The more you travel up the stream, the more you see and know what moves you, has you and what you truly belong to.

If you don't travel up the stream you will have a shallow relatedness to this life and what you are and a shallow relationship to other. 

If you do travel up the stream, you will come to a point where You poured out from. A miracle exists right there, the fact you have had life experience, means you have already gone beyond where you streamed out of. Now you come from deeper in the realisation of Self, deeper than you have ever known. Knowing knows. Somehow you know a different kind of opening, movement and forming. 

You are the New Testament to the Truth you move as The Self. You are the Book of Life. You are the transcendental One.

So you exceed where you come from further up the waterfall of Love. It is the point of Existence. You have a mirror to show you where you've come from. The forms of your self demonstrate to you what you are being.

Read the moment deeply. Cease listening to the world, your self, your mind. It will only obey You Being You. If you're being 'two' a like and a dislike , it will obey that and form that experience. If you are being singularly true to the Heart and deeper, then that will come into form - but you will experience all the changes on every level to form that.

Day 5